search terms

The Search Term that Brought You here


It’s amusing to look over the search terms. Below are the searches for the first two days of this month.

Dudley DoRight in all its various forms shows up quite a bit. I am unable to ascertain why but think there may be some porn site involved. One where Horse and Dudley’s love interest finally declare their true feelings for each other.

The queries about over 40 sex, or sometimes it’s just “middle-aged sex” are somewhat sad.

Most of the books I have reviewed land people here at some point and that Lisa Parker still draws googlers is a testament to curiosity.

People are oddly drawn to hair. Men with it  and women without it. And, sadly, fletching [sic] (ed. should be felching?) still brings perverts from all over despite the fact that I mentioned it once in passing in a post a long time ago.

I have to admit that the “saint for widowed men” was a new one. I have no doubt there is one. There is a saint for everything in my version of Catholicism and rightly so.

Peeing continues to be big. I have searches near daily on the topic in some form or another. I guess that means I have blogged a bit too much about it and should give it a rest.

The wedding cake thing perplexes me. Rob’s nephew and his wife had a cake like a ski mountain with a tiny man and women atop and ready to ski down. I wouldn’t have thought it a common wedding theme – skiing – but perhaps this is a sign that there are fewer Disney Princess brides out there than I thought.

Moving on is a big draw too. I am, apparently, a guru of sorts on the topic. There are worse things to be known for but I cannot claim any extra special information. The “moving on” fairies never set up residence in my house.

Blondie Mommix? Clueless. And I am equally out of the loop regarding John Cusack’s New Year’s Eve plans this year. Normally, I would get the memo, but I have been out of the social whirl for a while. But hey, John, if you are at loose ends, you are welcome to drop by. It will probably be just popcorn and a family movie and we go to bed well before midnight. Just saying.

Today

Search Views
sex frequency over 40 2
dudley do right 2
hairy chest 2
lisa parker production manager 1
blondie mommix goes for a ride 1
10-10-10 book review 1
saint for widowed men 1
urinating in the woods 1
dudley doright cartoon 1
mountain skiing wedding cake 1

Yesterday

Search Views
widow moving on 1
dudley do right pictures 1
dudley doright images 1
where will john cusack be on new years e 1
hairy chest 1
hairychest 1
fletching sex 1
hairless women 1
“six-on-six basketball,” ‘sexism” 1
   

   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   

 

So What Brings You Here? Lisa Parker, Maybe?


In the month of July I had no fewer than 56 searches for Lisa Parker in one form or another. 

The first time I mentioned Lisa was in reference to the dedication on the movie Eastern Promises. Later I wrote a piece commenting on all the traffic my one mention of her has generated. People were curious about her because of the dedication and the lack of any real information about her on the Internet despite the fact that we view the ‘net as a place of endless information.

Over time I have heard, via comments and emails, from people who knew Lisa and it’s obvious to me that she was much loved and still missed terribly.

Dudley DoRight. Hairless (not bald, sans hair, people) and all things Angelina Jolie lure searchers into my lair as well. 

I couldn’t figure out the DoRight thing until I remembered that Brendan Fraser played him in a movie back in 1999. Does that guy only reprise corny cartoon characters for the amusement of Gen_Xer’s – when he isn’t milking the summer block buster teat being the Mummy’s bitch? Anyway, there is a new Mummy movie and I imagine that is causing the odd landing here.

Once, I think just once, I wrote about shaving. Down there? No, I think it was about my disinterest in shaving my legs these days. And now, all manner of fetishists are stopping by. There are no pictures, ‘k? Go away.

Angelina Jolie. 

Sigh.

She is simply my foil. I could care less about her personally, really. But she makes such a nice metaphor, I find it hard not to single her out for special attention. To me she is the epitome of what happens to a woman who hasn’t a single clue about who she really is or what she wants out of life. Jumping on causes. Falling for the motherhood as a soul filler myth. Trying to stave off age with skeletal thinness. 

The great tourist mecca of Southern Illinois is next up. 

Seriously, who knew? Not me. I just hope the guy who rented us the cabin by the pond hasn’t lost business because we thought his place was aromatic and rustic.

YWBB still comes up. It’s usually a wordpress specific search which means the searcher finds Rob or me. Me mostly. I hope I haven’t discouraged anyone who needs to hang out there from checking it out, but I do hope I have made it clear that it isn’t a place for the long term. It’s a cherry picking place where you might find like minds, maybe make a friend or two but not a substitute for thinking for yourself and doing what’s best for you.

Truthfully, Rob pays more attention to my search terms than I. I am not much interested in how people find me but in whether they bother to read once they have arrived. I would say more arrive than stay, but that’s okay. I don’t read every blog I land on either.

Things People search for that Wind Them Up Here


WordPress has this neat feature that allows you to see the search terms that people have used to find your blog. Most of the time, they are pretty bland. Today I found the following:

 

Married sex blog – like my husband would let me write that kind of a blog. Hard as it may be to believe after some of my posts of late. I am leashed on this particular topic. Innuendo good. Details bad.

 

Married couples sex games – again, the gag order is in place, but I can say one thing. Games, toys, and visual aids aren’t on the menu in our house. We haven’t been married THAT long.

 

All women do it – Laundry? Dishes? Maxing out the credit card? Turning their heads and spitting?

 

Toilet seat heightener – Huh? So this is where my preoccupation with clean washrooms has gotten me? I think you might be looking for Johnny Virgil at 15 Minute Lunch.

 

Fletching – Ewww. I am sorry I ever learned about this let alone mentioned it. Once. In a post long, long ago. ‘Nuff said.

 

The funeral of Terry Fox – after the fall I spent dealing with my daughter’s pre-occupation with death and Terry Fox, I hope I never hear his name again. Unfortunately he is a Canadian holiday of sorts and I can look forward to many more years of him.

 

Tanja ywbb – this kind of thing always makes me nervous. It’s creepy when someone is looking for someone you know. I once saw a search term that said “Rob’s wife Annie’s blog” and could only imagine which of my husband’s widda stalkers admirers from the YWBB might be hunting us down now that we no longer visit post or visit there. Rob had quite the virtual group of admirers though I can’t say too much because half of my unsolicited private messages there came from widowers (the other half were typically from people telling me to shut up and go away).

 

How does Angelina Jolie stay thing? – Well, I know that when I was scary skinny it was because I didn’t eat. Not eating is a proven path to the kind of gaunt look that scares children and small animals away (mostly because they are afraid the skeletal individual might eat them).

 

Public Urination – I get this as a search term a lot. I think I might have indulged my own fascination with this a bit too much when I first arrived in Canada, but honest to god these people up here will pee anywhere.

 

Sex – quite a number of people troll the WordPress blogs for anything about sex. They aren’t even specific. If it talks about sex in even the most clinical wikipedia way, they want to know about it. My husband gets quite a chuckle out of the pieces I write about he and I and sex. He says “I wondered how long you could resist bragging.” Bragging? Well, okay. I am bragging. I have a lot to brag about frankly, but on the off chance my mother might read this some day – I will refrain from being graphic.

 

Penis exercises – Okay, I have been TMI but WTF? When have I ever mentioned anything about penis’s needing to exercise? Beyond the obvious, can a penis exercise? If anyone knows, do enlighten the rest of us.

 

Lisa Parker- Her name rolls in the credits of the Viggo Mortensen film, Eastern Promises. I wrote a piece that referenced her after seeing her name in the credits when Rob and I saw the film. I can’t even count the number of times that piece has been read and people are still finding it when looking her up. An odd memorial, in my opinion.

 

SouthStory rejection – Southstory is an on line literary magazine. They must reject a hell of a lot of writers because this term comes up about every day or two. I think I will beat them to the chase and just not submit work there at all.

 

YWBB – This comes up from time to time. Not sure why they would end up here instead of the site itself. Since I have given up reading the board (3 wks now – yeah me!), I don’t know if they are looking for the board or stories I have written about it and I have written a few – positive and negative. For the record, it was the place where I was destined to meet Rob and therefore worthwhile but I would caution anyone who goes there to take the advice with a grain of salt and remember that it is best to consult with and live among people in real time when you are dealing with grief issues.

 

Skinny female celebs – Can’t say whether this is a positive search or not but I will go out on a limb and assume that someone was just being creepy and looking for photos. Of scary looking famous people who are starving themselves to an early grave. Now there is a hobby.

 

Letters from lovers – This could be a sweet romantic thing. Some young person looking for inspiration before penning his or her own emoticon expressions of “let’s hang out” via a text message, or it could be someone looking for porn. Since this is the Internet, it could go either way.