UPDATE: This post got me unfriended on Facebook by one of the mommies who inspired it. I’ll leave you to guess which one.
There is so much about the mommy blogosphere that I am out of step with. I don’t worship at the Buddha bellies of my offspring (who are too old to be Gerber baby round and Downy fresh anyway). I don’t believe motherhood fulfilled me in a Frodo-esque LOTR’s type of way. I am not terribly concerned about how much time other women put in or out of their homes. Blogging for the trinkets of the marketplace doesn’t interest me and, generally speaking, my husband is for snuggling, bragging about and thanking God for (if I inclined in that direction and mostly I don’t anymore).
I can rant with the best of them. I have ranted. My dear readers will happily step up and attest to it, but I will disclaim for honesty’s sake anyway.
But there are some places that the mommies go that I just don’t get or can’t follow along with like these recent examples.
The woman who greatly embellished her recent TSA encounter for instance. Being no fan of heightened security in any of its forms in the United States, I feel her frustration, but she didn’t really tell the truth. In fact she was so over the top that the TSA actually deigned to defend itself in the form of releasing the actual footage of the incident the woman, Nic White, ranted about on her blog.
And there was the woman who went ballistic because her honor student daughter’s feelings were hurt when she was correctly busted for a dress code violation. While I agree that the VP in question needed schooling in bedside manner – and for the record not being polite is almost a prerequisite for being a VP in most of my experience – her child was in the wrong, and the fact that schools have big issues to take care of these days doesn’t mean they should ignore things like dress code violations even when the offender is a good kid with excellent grades. It’s really beside the point.
In my experience, far too many “good” kids are taught that their academics and overall nice personalities somehow put them above the rules that lesser children/students are held to. That’s simply not real world. What is real world are superiors who blow up at you for minor things out of the clear blue even though you are a good employee. Or being pulled over for being 5 miles over the legal limit even though you were being passed right and left and are an exemplary driver. And generally not being immune from the occasional self-esteem ding even though it’s widely acknowledged that you are so incredibly wonderful.
The first rant example apparently backfired to the point that Ms.White had to close comments. The second resulted in a disturbing yet typical hen-fest of sympathy where almost no one bothered to point out that perhaps being an honor student did not exempt a child from the rules that the trailer park set are subject to and on a common sense level, no one held forth with the radical idea that summer wear is as inappropriate to the school setting as it is in the workplace because the way things are going economically most of our kids are going to be wearing some version of a work smock anyway.
“I don’t get it,” I said to Rob. “When I venture into the mom’s realm, I read about women who find motherhood so overwhelming and under-stimulating that they need to drink daily, shop excessively, pop antidepressants and Xanax like Pez and believe that husbands are snark targets for the enjoyment of their readers.”
He didn’t comment. He didn’t have to. As I have noted before, I am not a mommy-blogger and therefore I don’t understand.
anniegirl1138 
I have an exceptionally smart stepson who has even skipped a grade. I found out last year that he was doing his tests very fast to be the first one done and the teacher would give it back to him to make corrections. He never had many corrections but because he is “the good kid” they were making exceptions for him. I blew a lid. I asked them what they were teaching him about responsibility if they let him redo things but not the kids who were slower and struggling. I laid down the law this year..no test is given back to make corrections unless everyone else in the class gets theirs back also. It is working. He is taking his time and double checking his answers rather than being the first done.
I also have an ADHD high strung 8th grade son of my own that they were letting get away with stuff because he is funny and is just so cute. That ended also. Lots of detentions this year until he can get himself straighted out. Sit down, shut up and learn something. ADHD just means extra time to do a test or project not free rein to be rude and disrespectful to the teachers and other students.
I guess that makes me the opposite of the mommybloggers. My mamabear attitude rears her ugly head if there is real injustice but if the whole story reveals that the child is in the wrong or just made a minor error there is no reason to make a battle. It’s all about choosing your battles wisely.
Interesting post. While “In my experience, far too many “good” kids are taught that their academics and overall nice personalities somehow put them above the rules that lesser children/students are held to. That’s simply not real world.” isn’t true, my husband is a teacher and, at his school if a good kid does something wrong, they get the book thrown at them, but if a trouble maker does the same thing, nothing happens. An example – a bad student told a teacher “f you” and when the kid wouldn’t go to the principal’s office and the teacher called them, the principal said to let the kid go to class. A good kid let s**t slip in class and was suspended for a day. That isn’t right either!
But kids are taught that being the good obedient student is the path to privilege and that is why they are hit harder when they discover it’s not true. Because it isn’t true.
I am very aware that the obnoxious wheels in the academic system (students and parents) are often ignored, but it’s a case by case thing, and when teachers/Admin stop disciplining a certain child – it means they have written that kid off as a worthless cause.
this is a brilliant post.
I agree, it isn’t my child that drives me to drink/rant/whine/commiserate. It isn’t my husband. Or the school district. Or the other moms.
Even though these things drive me crazy.
I was speaking with a close friend last night, about how I think it so odd that so many of the “mommybloggers” have such different lives than I. Maybe it’s what they put out there about themselves, maybe they don’t have much else going on. But it’s sad. And strange.
So thank you, thank you for this post.
But mostly thank you for being you.
I give you credit for “going there” at all. I can’t do it on a regular basis because I can’t relate either. Once in a while I click on a link to a post by someone who would be considered a mommy-blogger, and nine times out of ten I say “huh?”
mommies will, in general, be mama bears and have different standards and expectations. that is NOT to forgive overindulgences like the two you pointed out. those two were out of line…way out of line. but, that mama bear attitude has kept quite a few kids alive and safe who would otherwise be tomorrow’s headline.
and, bottom line? bravo for not being a mommy-blogger. be yourself, not defined by titles
the tsa rant/response blew me away. i’ve spent A LOT of time in airports, and while the tsa process may be marginally ridiculous in some ways, they take measures to explain things to you – before and after you enter the process. i’ve been felt up by nearly every female TSA agent at DC National Airport, and have found them to be professional and efficient. watching the TSA video? No surprises. Guess you really can’t believe everything you read on the internet!
With this trend in mommy-rants, hell, in parenting, is it any wonder we have a generation of young adults with an inappropriate sense of entitlement? ugh…
I’m not a mommy-blogger, either…but I think they use lots of artistic license…if you get what I’m sayin…cause NORMAL life just isn’t THAT funny (unless you make it funny…)