Vegan Living


Photo of a 20-piece box of McDonald's Chicken ...

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An age old question. Which came first. Chicken? Egg? And really, does it matter?  Except to those who live off the grants that fund the studies to decide the issue for once and all?

The more serious query concerns chicken nuggets.

So, which came first the white meat or the batter?

Let’s find out!

The answer, of course, is neither. But the surprise that American children will eat deep-fried chicken goo is interesting. Any North American parent could have told Jamie the outcome in advance.

We train our kids to eat chicken nuggets as early as possible. Their ability to gnaw the soggy glop apart is the key to our semi-liberation. No longer are we a slave to our own dinner tables once Junior can subsist on nuggets and french fries (can’t forget the starch – it’s staple).

Once the eating of fried chicken paste is mastered. We are free to feed our kids on the run courtesy of McDonald’s, who will let us choose apples or carrots to assuage our guilt and throw in a plastic Chinese toy for added distraction time.

Chicken nuggets means we can eat out again. Not at good restaurants – because their “nuggets” are actually “fingers” which our children eye with suspicion (having no personal knowledge of what real chicken looks like). They sniff. They poke. They balk. They take a bite or two and refuse to eat more because “it tastes different”.

Different being a bad thing where small barely cognizant humans are concerned.

By the time they are the age of the kids in this “fool-proof” experiment, they are ruined.

Ruined, I tell you.

And it’s our fault.

Apparently for some Canadians it’s a tough call. Crispy thin slices of pig or orgasms.

43% of Canadians choose bacon over sex according to a survey conducted by Maple Leaf Foods (not exactly an impartial pollster).

How does something like this happen?

Developing a preference for pig meat over naked entanglement? I am nearly at a loss for words.

The survey also discovered the following:

  • When exposed to different fragrances, 23 percent of men preferred the smell of bacon.
  • 82 percent of male respondents who said they loved bacon also claimed they were good lovers.
  • Western Canadians boasted a deeper love of bacon than those in the east with 50 percent of British Columbia participants saying they’d give up sex before bacon, versus just 37 percent of respondents from Quebec.

That men would find the aroma of meat more appealing than Chanel No.5 is shocking. There’s a reason for the saying “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach”, but that men who prefer bacon to sex would rate themselves high on the love-making scale just tells me that no one bothered to poll their significant others at all.

That British Columbians love their pork products might seem at odds with their laid-back tree-hugging Lululemon wearing image, but during our stay in Victoria last November, I saw so many smokers and an abundance of blue-tooth douchebags, the fact that they dig pig doesn’t surprise me a bit.

In our home, it’s turkey bacon though both Dee and Rob will make the huge sacrifice of eating the pig variety when we are traveling.

I don’t do meat. Not even fish much. My body has made it quite clear that it will get even with me if I try to force it to digest flesh of any kind.

Seriously, meat – regardless of how clean and tasty it looks in the grocery – is just a culturally blessed version of road kill.

But I am curious, bacon or sex?

On our night out at the Barnes and Noble over our U.S. holiday, Rob discovered a diet book that he thought was a must read.

That’s right.

My husband picked up, read a bit and decided we should own a diet book entitled Skinny Bitch, which was written by two women who had been in the modeling industry.

What sold him on the book was not the chapter on the horrors of the meat industry, designed to convince the unconvinced to give up their fattening, carcass gorging ways, or the chapter on the evils of sugar and sugar subsitutes. No, it was the chapter on pooping. There is a whole chapter devoted to elimination and the foods that promote properly satisfying bowel movements. But I had some of you worried there, didn’t I? 

Rob has yet to read the book.

I read it though on and off on our first day on the road back to Canada. It’s a very quick read. And it’s not your average diet book.

Most of what is in it is very common sense and boils down to the old adage – you are what you eat.

Since many of us live on a steady diet of animal in one form or another and refined carbs with little to no interaction with veggies or fruit that is what we are. And that’s not good.

Basically the book is heavy on the vegan. Hold the meat, the dairy, the refined and highly processed. Bring on the veggies, the fruit, the whole grains the unrefined. 

Throw in movement. Not Olympic preparation stuff but walking, climbing and carrying on a regular basis.

And voila. 

You too can be a skinny bitch.

The writing style is harsh and bossy but the research is sound and the idea that eating crap leads to looking like crap is in evidence all around.

More and more I realize that I can’t avoid going completely vegan. Not from a weight standpoint but from a health one. Once I eliminate a food, my body refuses to re-admit it without consequences and that is telling. 

If you are interested at all in veganism or simply want to know more about the meat and dairy industries and how truly unsafe our food supply is courtesy of the FDA, read the book.

There is always that chapter on bowel movements, you know.