Bacon or Sex?

Apparently for some Canadians it’s a tough call. Crispy thin slices of pig or orgasms.

43% of Canadians choose bacon over sex according to a survey conducted by Maple Leaf Foods (not exactly an impartial pollster).

How does something like this happen?

Developing a preference for pig meat over naked entanglement? I am nearly at a loss for words.

The survey also discovered the following:

  • When exposed to different fragrances, 23 percent of men preferred the smell of bacon.
  • 82 percent of male respondents who said they loved bacon also claimed they were good lovers.
  • Western Canadians boasted a deeper love of bacon than those in the east with 50 percent of British Columbia participants saying theyโ€™d give up sex before bacon, versus just 37 percent of respondents from Quebec.

That men would find the aroma of meat more appealing than Chanel No.5 is shocking. There’s a reason for the saying “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach”, but that men who prefer bacon to sex would rate themselves high on the love-making scale just tells me that no one bothered to poll their significant others at all.

That British Columbians love their pork products might seem at odds with their laid-back tree-hugging Lululemon wearing image, but during our stay in Victoria last November, I saw so many smokers and an abundance of blue-tooth douchebags, the fact that they dig pig doesn’t surprise me a bit.

In our home, it’s turkey bacon though both Dee and Rob will make the huge sacrifice of eating the pig variety when we are traveling.

I don’t do meat. Not even fish much. My body has made it quite clear that it will get even with me if I try to force it to digest flesh of any kind.

Seriously, meat – regardless of how clean and tasty it looks in the grocery – is just a culturally blessed version of road kill.

But I am curious, bacon or sex?

10 thoughts on “Bacon or Sex?

  1. I’m a vegetarian, so definitely not bacon. On the other hand, after almost four years without sex, I’ve kind of gotten out of that habit too. So if the choice were, say, sex or chocolate cake, I’d probably go for the cake. ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. Well, clearly the baco-bra pictured above doesn’t have nearly enough lift for my lactating bosom, so I’ll have to lure my meat-eater in other ways.
    But bacon or sex? I can’t pretend it’s an easy choice, bacon is delicious. Sex wins out on the whole but there are definitely moments when I’d go for the bacon.

  3. bacon may be the predominant reason i’ll never make the jump to vegetarian. i love it. but more than sex? nope. not a contest… i like lora’s idea, though. that’d be quite a ‘one-two’ punch!

  4. my husband would say he would always chose sex, but I think that he would always chose bacon right before or right after. Or during. If he could just have a piece in his mouth, resting there on his tongue, he’d be a happy man.

    me, I don’t like bacon. I think I’m the only person in the world who just doesn’t have a taste for the stuff.

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