The Proposal

The mom-unit offered to babysit.

“Why don’t you guys go out for dinner and a movie?”

My sister, DNOS, is the happy recipient of many an opportunity to hand off parenting to our mother. Before her, BabySis regularly abused the whole grandparent baby-sitting thing. But I have never lived near enough to avail myself. Even when I was single and getting back to the hometown more often, I usually ended up sitting for the kids while siblings went out.

So we naturally jumped on the opportunity to get out.

“We are going to be thoroughly spoiled with couple time this summer,” I said at dinner. “What will we do if we end up overseas next year?”

“There are nannies,” he said.

But it’s an issue for the future. This week, I have live-in help.

The movie we saw after a wonderfully child-free meal in the lounge at BP was Sandra Bullock’s The Proposal.

“It was her first nude scene ever,” I commented after. “She looked good for her age.”

“How old is she?”

“She’s my age or a bit younger,” I said.

“You know,” Rob replied,”I really wish you would quit saying someone was your age when I am only two years older. It should be ‘she is our age’. I’m feeling left out … and old.”

Which was not my intention, but one someone is a hair younger than I am he/she is four or five years younger than Rob and in some instances that really stretches the idea of “peers”. Generations gap every five years after all. But I conceded the point and made a mental note to self.

“You look good for your age too,” he went on to say.

“But I have that tummy pooch and she doesn’t.”

“Why, I wonder?”

“Having babies ruins the body.”

“You are hardly ruined,” he said and didn’t roll his eyes despite the fact that he wishes I could look through his eyes to see me sometimes.

The movie itself is timeless romcom that goes back to Tracey and Hepburn. A man and an independent, strong-willed and utterly capable woman who are initially annoyed, irritated and dismissive of each other eventually fall in love – usually because the woman allows the man to see her softer side … which in no way diminishes her, but allows her to be fully herself.

Critics thought the first half was good and the second half (the softening, revealing and falling in love half) to be trite and done already.

And what’s wrong with that?

I guess a feminist would agree that Margaret (Bullock) should not have to be soft and fluffy as a bunny in order to win a man. Although, I don’t know how else one would “win” an man because who wants to be with someone who doesn’t need them? I am put off by men who don’t seem to have anything but hard edges and expectations that no normal person could possibly fulfill, so why would a man be any different?

And I liked that Margaret softened. She was a lonely person without family ties or friends. I don’t think she was damaged by revealing her need to be understood and loved for herself or for missing the family she no longer had. It wasn’t like Andrew (Ryan Reynolds) didn’t grow. He had a horrendous relationship with his father and came away changed by what he learned about Margaret’s loss of her parents.

Which brings me to this …

“Hey,” Rob said on the drive home, “we finally saw a film without the slightest taint of widowhood.”

“Yeah,” I said, “although there was that dead parents and memorial tattoo thing.”

“Oh …right.”

Doves. The tattoo was doves.

I laughed throughout the film. Not something one can say about many comedies these days, and Betty White was a hoot and a half. One of my favorite actresses, she has excellent comedic timing.

The film rates a “see it” in my opinion.

3 responses to “The Proposal

  1. I know I’ve attracted more men when I was vulnerable, but The Boyo prefers me when I’m competent. But I can go either way, and he’ll still be around. I think he’s a keeper.
    And I’m with Daisy Fae, even if I can do everything, sex, companionship and adventure are still needed in my life.

  2. congrats on the night out/widow-free flick! i could put on my “anti-crunchy” softening suit and maybe try this one…

    that whole “need” thing always vexes me, though. i’ve been told “daisyfae, it’s not clear what a man has to offer you – you’re financially independent, physically strong and mechanically competent…”. to which i replied “companionship? sex? laughter? adventure?” and was met with crickets and tumbleweed… (sigh)

  3. Just happened to pop on line and got to read this delightful post.
    My ex sat next to Betty White on a flight last year. They gabbed the whole time, then he carried her bags to her waiting car for her. I think she’s hysterical, and now, I guess I’ll have to check out this film. Thanks!

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