Valentine Day

Dating While Widowed: A Valentine Day Quickie


I put this vid up on my FaceBook page today for Rob, my sweetly amazing husband.

It’s always been a favorite Valentine’s tune. Even before I met him.

But, I’d never seen the vid before and was a bit surprised by the headstone and rose at the end. However, it actually clarified something … for me anyway … because though now this song says “Rob” to me … once … it applied to Will, my late husband, and before him it was just a wish … attached to wind in hopes that one day the song would remind me of someone who loved me as much as I loved him.

The same song but three different me’s. Three very different times of my life. But still me at the core and sentiment of the song never changes even though I have and life, of course, has as well.

And to me, this is a reminder that living/loving in the moment is what truly matters.

Anthropomorphic Valentine, circa 1950–1960

Image via Wikipedia

Sure I remember moments past/lost but I don’t live. Now is really all there is.

The heart is a surprisingly elastic and terribly practical organ with amazing capacity. To quote Shakespeare,

“My bounty is as boundless as the sea, my love as deep; the more I give to thee, the more I have, for both are infinite.”

Happy Valentine’s Day.

 

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A Valentine’s Post


Couples at square dance, McIntosh County, Okla...

Image by The Library of Congress via Flickr

Not many evenings ago as Rob and I sat at our desks in the home office because we still don’t have a living room and the new incredibly comfy sofa is sandwiched behind the dining room table in the space soon to be known as the kitchen, I waxed wistfully about the not so far off day when the fireplace will be operational and he and I can curl around each other in front of it.

“Like the teenager I never was, ” I said.

“We’ll need mood music,” he replied.

“70’s and make out-ish,” I concurred.

“April Wine it is.”

Truthfully, I only knew the most syrupy bland ballad of their career before I met Rob. A Canadian band, most of April Wine never made it onto the American Top Forty rotation, which is a shame. And even more truthfully, the first romantic interlude Rob and I shared was soundtracked by Tool, but the former is a better V-day pick.

Happy St. Valentine’s Day, whether you celebrate or scorn it, anything that promotes love has an edge on just about everything else in the world.

A Little Virtual Love


Happy Valentine's Day

Image by Abby Lanes via Flickr

I was hiding Valentine’s booty the other day and warned Rob not to peek.

“I hate Valentine’s,” he said. “Why is there Valentine’s? I wouldn’t participate at all if it weren’t for you.”

… and your insistence that we celebrate every Hallmark X on the calendar … but that was unspoken.

He’s not a curmudgeon about it.

Okay, he is, but he believes that love should be expressed in the moment and not confined to arbitrarily set time periods.

Some of my exuberance stems from the fact that for much of my life, Valentine’s was a holiday I watched others celebrate and now that I have children and husband I am a full participant and it’s awesome. But I really don’t see evil in blocking out time to make an effort to express feelings that – even though they can be spoken and shown anytime – are more often than not lost in the daily rush.

Love is worth a big deal holiday of its own, in my very humble opinion.

There is still a bit of Valentine prep left to do, but in the spirit of spontaneity and dissociating the feelings from the prison of the calendar, I offer a tune.

To my husband, Rob, with much love always and an ocean of appreciation for everything he does for me – which is an awful lot – without any thought for himself.

You rock, Baby. XOXOX