personal identity


Log consumed by fire

Image by quinn.anya via Flickr

My most recent horoscope gibbered something about me slowly burning off the residual matter of the old me and finding a sleek and shiny new me underneath. The gist basically being that I have been in a state of transformation for some time and that I was down to the wire in terms of emerging from chrysalis and flapping my colors for all to see.

Except apparently, I don’t care about the “all” of anyone. This new improved version of me is above “it” and “all”, and though perhaps not quite enlightened in any Buddhist sense, certainly not mired in the way of the new world order.

I was informed also that this burn can be scary and disorienting, but not to worry because it was more than worth the any residual scarring.

Okay.

The idea that I am morphing isn’t one that hasn’t occurred to me. In the past year there have been more than a few instances of feeling out-of-body or even trapped in country. And it’s as physical a thing as it is not.

“My legs are totally different,” I remarked to my yoga teacher, Jade, before class one day.

“Yep,” she agreed. “You have changed quite a bit.”

Again that could be just physical and not be wrong but I have a feeling it goes beyond.

Not being quite through this yet, and not being entirely sure of what comes next, makes the whole “thing” hard to explain.

Rob likes to take some of the credit.

“I’ve changed you,”

“No, you allowed me to be,” I said. “Not the same thing.”

At all.

Too often we go into relationships with the odd notion of “perfecting” or “re-teaching” someone. It’s not possible. People will be who they are if they are allowed though mostly who we are is not who we are expected to be.

Yoga is about being and coming back into a being who’s been forgotten or misaligned by a lifetime of others’ coercive attempts to bend us to their will.

Thy will be done. That’s what we were taught in Catholic school. But it doesn’t make sense. Create imperfection and order it perfect in its obedience only. A divine North Korea according to Christopher Hitchens, but that ‘s a bit of a digression.

I am. More than I have ever been and if I dare to continue, more than I could have imagined being. Fascinating.


Found this at Sleepy Reader. It’s fun in a scary accurate sort of way, which is to say that it is probably too revealing.


Your result for Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz…

You Are an Ingrid!

mm.ingrid_.jpg

You are an Ingrid — “I am unique”

 

Ingrids have sensitive feelings and are warm and perceptive.

 

How to Get Along with Me

  • * Give me plenty of compliments. They mean a lot to me.
  • * Be a supportive friend or partner. Help me to learn to love and value myself.
  • * Respect me for my special gifts of intuition and vision.
  • * Though I don’t always want to be cheered up when I’m feeling melancholy, I sometimes like to have someone lighten me up a little.
  • * Don’t tell me I’m too sensitive or that I’m overreacting!

 

What I Like About Being an Ingrid

  • * my ability to find meaning in life and to experience feeling at a deep level
  • * my ability to establish warm connections with people
  • * admiring what is noble, truthful, and beautiful in life
  • * my creativity, intuition, and sense of humor
  • * being unique and being seen as unique by others
  • * having aesthetic sensibilities
  • * being able to easily pick up the feelings of people around me

 

What’s Hard About Being an Ingrid

  • * experiencing dark moods of emptiness and despair
  • * feelings of self-hatred and shame; believing I don’t deserve to be loved
  • * feeling guilty when I disappoint people
  • * feeling hurt or attacked when someone misundertands me
  • * expecting too much from myself and life
  • * fearing being abandoned
  • * obsessing over resentments
  • * longing for what I don’t have

 

Ingrids as Children Often

  • * have active imaginations: play creatively alone or organize playmates in original games
  • * are very sensitive
  • * feel that they don’t fit in
  • * believe they are missing something that other people have
  • * attach themselves to idealized teachers, heroes, artists, etc.
  • * become antiauthoritarian or rebellious when criticized or not understood
  • * feel lonely or abandoned (perhaps as a result of a death or their parents’ divorce)

 

Ingrids as Parents

  • * help their children become who they really are
  • * support their children’s creativity and originality
  • * are good at helping their children get in touch with their feelings
  • * are sometimes overly critical or overly protective
  • * are usually very good with children if not too self-absorbed

 


Take Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz
at HelloQuizzy