Self-image

My Hollywood Wifestyle


It occurred to me not long ago that I had become the kind of woman that as a single working girl, and then a married working mom, I had scoffed at. My day was punctuated by the odd chore between the pursuit of totally hedonistic self-gratification. I was even hearing myself say,

“Perhaps I should get a part time job for fulfillment rather than actual need of a paycheck.”

Okay, I didn’t say it exactly like that, but it was the subtext. And when your own mother thinks that having a job would “get you out of the house a bit”, which is code for “you need a real life” as opposed to the fantasy life of a writer, then perhaps you do live in La-La Land and it’s time to re-evaluate.

When I ran my theory past my husband, that my life was…..well…..all about me…. in a way it hadn’t been since I was in university, he agreed.

“You are practically one of those Hollywood wives,” he told me.

“No! I am not,” I protested.

But I am. I could totally be Posh Beckham, if only my best friend would marry a questionably balanced Scientologist and agree to split dinner salads with me when we do lunch. Seriously, that’s all that is holding me back at this point. That and a BMI in the double digits. And laugh lines. If only I could get past that irrational fear of botulism injections. In my face. Read Full Article

The Full Monty


In an attempt to cheer me up after a very minor upset, my husband suggested that we snuggle up and watch a movie. He had picked up several selections at the library and gave me the option of comedy or comedy.

I chose The Full Monty. I have never gotten around to seeing it, if you can believe that, though I did know what it was about. Doesn’t everyone now really? Know what a “full monty” is anyway. And it was a cute little flick, but what I found most interesting was the issue of self image and body issues because I am so in that place myself right now. Read Full Article

10 Ways I have Changed with Time


My friend Marsha at Breathings of the Heart subscribes to a blog by Dave Bruno’s.

She found him when she came upon on his “100 Thing Challenge.” He is the same guy who inspired my post on purging.  Anyway, she discovered a new post of his on the 10 ways that he has changed over time and decided to write one of her own.

I like the list so much that I decided to write one too. And it makes a nice change from all the death and dying talk of late. A person can only go to that well so often before it’s either – throw yourself in or fix the indoor plumbing.

  1. Once the mall was a weekend outing. Now I shop on line and only when I really need something and I find malls a bit overwhelming in a country mouse kind of way.
  2. Once I ran ten miles every day. Now, sadly, I can only walk several days a week and take yoga classes, but I am actually getting into better shape because the running was punishing in ways I wasn’t aware of at the time. Ah, the insulation of youth.
  3. Once I loved teaching and thought I could make a difference. Now, not so much.
  4. Once I used to fret and worry over what people thought of me. Now, a little less every day and that is progress.
  5. Once I watched a lot of television. Now I never watch to the point that I am puzzled by it when I do.
  6. Once I thought I would make a group of someones a great mom who would know all the right things to do. Now I know that there is no such thing as a great parent or such a thing as being born to parent. We do the best we can and kids do the rest. And it’s usually pretty good.
  7. Once I thought I wasn’t good enough to write for a living. Now I know that was crap.
  8. Once I thought that being thin would make me happy. Now I know it just makes me healthy.
  9. Once I hid from the world in books. Now I write books.
  10. Once I thought that if I could just hang on, have faith and work hard, I would be happy again someday. I was right.