marriage issues

Afternoon Delight


I was enough of a geeky 12 year old that despite merciless teasing from my peers, I loved the Starland Vocal Band’s song Afternoon Delight

I had no idea what the song meant and my ignorance was further compounded by the several conspiring facts:

1) Despite a fairly graphic knowledge of the bases thanks to my friend Laura Kloser whose older siblings talked too much and too loudly in front of her and an intensive scouring of every encyclopedia in my Catholic grade school, I still had no idea how the act of intercourse was performed. I knew where all the parts went but the mechanics were eluding my imagination.

2) I had not yet been introduced to Judy Blume or read the book Forever (which cleared up nothing by the way) which was  about a girl losing her virginity. 

3) I was not aware that people used poetic euphemisms when talking, writing or singing about sex. I was a product of my working class upbringing. Sex was dirty, forbidden and alluded to with sports terms or vulgarities. 

4) The one and only time I saw the band perform the song was during a bi-centennial variety show with fireworks in blasting in the background.

Can anyone blame me for taking the song literally?

WordPress has this great feature that lets a person know the search terms that are bringing potential new readers to your site. One might use this, I am supposing, to craft blog pieces that will generate more traffic. Except in some instances, I feel dirty that some of these people ended up on my blog in the first place, so why would I write something to lure them back?

The hubbies who felch their wives and the hamster voyeurs can look elsewhere with my blessings.

Aside from the YWBB curious and those still desperately seeking Lisa Parker, many people seem quite interested in information about middle-age, preferrably married, couples who not only have sex but find it “fun” and enjoyable.

So have I written that much about the joys of old married people sex? And if so, where are the offers for a book deal? 

I have to confess to a continuing amazement at the amazement of people who seem to think that we shrivel, petrify and turn in our humping licenses at 40 or 45 or 50 or whatever the new thirty is these days. 

The middle aged, married or single, still think about and long for sex – perferably with someone like-minded and fun to lounge around with afterwards. The majority enjoy it  too when they can get it. If they are getting it, do so as often as humanly possible (and you would be quite surprised how often and vigorous it can be).

Since I know that people searching out the secret world of middle-aged married people who still shag are looking for more than assurances, I will leave you with this:

And assure you that a good time was had by all.

 

‘Morning Lover


Back in our LDR days, Rob always wrote me a morning greeting email which, if I wasn’t too impatient and peeked for the night before (I was up late, late in those days with insomnia), I would find first thing when I logged onto my computer at work. There was always an endearing greeting and though some people pooh-pooh email as inferior to real pen and paper letters, I have saved every email that Rob has every penned to me, and they are as dear on the screen as any letter in my hand could be. 

We hardly email each other these days. Now that we are physically together, our mode of communication has switched to a phone call in the afternoon and, of course, we eat lunch together nearly every day. Still I love getting an email from him out of the blue like the one I got a few Wednesday’s ago. 

‘Morning Lover is how it began and though it was only a link to a powerpoint on asthma, it reminded me of what were essentially our “courting days” of yore. Only we were already engaged and yore was just a year ago. It seems to me though that I have known Rob forever. That he has been a missing person in my life – all my life – and these little missives are just one of the many small ties that bind us now as they did in some other time I can’t quite remember but know existed.

Rob’s greeting of a year ago today was “Simply and plainly. I love you.” He went on to compliment a recent blog piece I’d written and tell me that I was talented and how much he loved being my muse (and he was and still is beyond all other people or influences to a point that astounds me daily). Then he gave me a list of quotes because back in the .Mac blog days I always tried to have an inspirational quote to go along with my entry. I foolishly believed I might be helping those at the YWBB who peeked at my blog. I am past the idea that I did much good there (or much damage either) and believe that my stay there was orchestrated for Rob and I to reconnect, and for us to meet up with a select few people who would bless our lives with wisdom or encouragement. 

These mornings he greets me with kisses and nose rubs and his beautiful smile. His eyes are bright blue orbs that even the sky up here cannot match, and I love the way he looks at me in those first moments when I awake (because I seldom beat him to consciousness though when I do it’s a treat to watch him sleep).

I know it probably seems as if I spend an inordinate amount of blog space on my husband and how wonderful I think he is, but in my mind I have yet to write something that truly does him justice or describes perfectly the way I feel about him. So even though today isn’t an anniversary or an out of the ordinary day, I am going to take the time to say,

“Morning Lover.”

And be glad that I can.

Running Errands with My Husband


Rob took the afternoon off today, so we could run over to Northgate Centre and visit the Service Canada Centre there. It’s amazing to me the number of  things one can find in malls here that have nothing whatsoever to do with shopping. At Northgate not only can a person apply for unemployment, Social Insurance Numbers (as I did today) and passports at a Service Canada outlet, so to speak, but there is an outreach high school, a fitness center for moms and kids, a doctor’s office, a dental office and an insurance agent. Quite a different take on such a faciality then I am used to being from the Midwest of the United States. Perhaps it is a big city thing, but I have noticed that Canadians make the most of their strip malls and malls. It’s not just a shopping thing. For example the strip mall we visit to shop at the organic grocery, Planet Organic, also contains a police station and a person can find registeries – for birth, death, marriage, driver’s, auto, hunting/fishing licenses and certificates just about anywhere as the government outsources those tasks to private companies. One thing the Canadian don’t have though is 24 hour service. That is rare. They also don’t get the American idea that Saturday should be as convenient as Monday thru Friday in terms of access. Saturday has many stores closing at 5 or 6 and the mail just doesn’t move. Sunday? Well, Canadians aren’t religious really but the day is still the Lord’s where work is concerned. Noon to five are the hours on anything that happens to be open for the most part.

So now that I have that digression off my chest, let’s return to my errand running with Rob. We got my SIN (social insurance number) to obtain for filing my taxes up here. No I haven’t earned a dime since coming here but every adult has to file and surprisingly we all file as individuals. Canada doesn’t recognize the concept of filing as a married couple. The SIN is just a temporary one. Once I have my residency, I exchange it for a permanent number. It works just like the SS#’s in the U.S. except they have numbers for permanent residents and citizens that start with a different prefix than those they assign to temporary residents and workers. Neat, huh? America could learn a thing or two from the Canadians.

I love spending time with Rob in the middle of the day – just the two of us. Even if it is as simple as a run to the mall, home improvement store and then the grocery for foodstuff to make pizza, it’s just nice to be together. Our conversation wasn’t extraordinary. We weren’t more affectionate than normal (because our PDA standards are above the norm for people our age anyway). It was just the spending of time, holding hands and talking about all the regular things couples talk about as they go from place to task to another place again. The normalcy and who would think that such a thing would be worth commentary? But it is.