blogging


The Weekend began with the last day of school for Dee. I love the Canadian school calendar. They begin after Labor Day and finish on the last Friday of June. I love having June to myself.

And it was also Rob and my 2nd wedding anniversary. A classmate of Dee’s invited her over for an end of the year/beginning of summer sleep-over and pool party the next day. How often does an almost 24hr childless stint coincide with one’s anniversary?

We moved the sitter from Friday to Saturday night and grilled instead of heading into the city. Yummy fresh food without the worry of tummy trouble, followed by wine and the first two chapters of a cheesy mini-series from the mid-70’s and plenty of snuggly good times.

Saturday was sleeping in, toast and tea at the table and conversation that was not interrupted with multiple requests for assistance.

We picked up Dee in the mid-afternoon and sailed off for the city to help Mick with her moving (the Overlord sat like a freakish Krishna on the trampoline in the front yard the whole while we were there, pretending not to eavesdrop by wearing his earbuds – apparently has taken to communicating with Mick by text, even if they are in the same room). Afterward we hit the Customer Appreciation Sale at Sears (they are appreciating anyone who is still spending their money) and picked up drapes to go with the blinds in our bedroom. Near darkness is on the horizon this week.

Picked up the sitter on the way home and some nutrition-less no-no’s at McD’s for Dee before depositing them at home, and we were off to the city again. Dinner at the High Level Diner. A favorite place.  And movie at the Garneau down the block with a walk around the university campus in the interim.

The Garneau is an old theatre with cushy seats that rock back into the knees of those behind you. The movie was a Brit import. Colin Firth. Always wonderful despite the now comical injection of widowhood into the plot line. We don’t even try to avoid it by reading reviews or summaries anymore. It does no good. We are cursed like that.

And that’s about it aside from my managing to annoy people with my lack of respect for the dead.

How was your weekend?


Life and novel are sucking the blogging creativity out of my marrow these days. So I am going to continue “liberating” ideas from my gentle readers and friends on an as needed basis until further notice.

Today I borrow once again from Alicia who kindly blogged this for the purpose of supplying me. Many thanks, dear. It’s meant to be a meme, but I am using it as a “starter” like the prompts I would write for my students when the whiteness of page blinded their inner muses into mute, deer in the headlight silence.

A – Age: I am 45 and a half, but sometimes I feel much older – like when my knees ache on damp, rainy days or after a long mountainous hike. And sometimes I feel much younger. Like when I am listening to my step-daughters talk about the new Star Trek movie or their plans for the summer and beyond. It doesn’t seem possible to me to have “children” who are so grown. My niece Chance is getting married in the fall. She’ll be 24 soon. That is an old and young thing so rolled up I can’t even begin to separate it. She was four when I met her. I gave her crayons and paper and she drew while her mom and I worked on lessons plans for an organization unit we were creating for the sixth graders. Soon she is going to be married and even more my peer than my daughters. Astonishing.

B – Band listening to right now: The iPod is currently playing A to Zed. I think I am in the D’s. Very random and probably why my knees hurt so much. I am walking lost in the memories of music.


C – Career future: Alicia mentioned that the concept of career was a concept indeed and I concur. I have never really thought of what I do as a career because work has never consumed or defined me. Teaching was for a long time something I really liked to do. It was fun. Blogging, even during the dry spells, is fun. Writing fiction is challenging but still technically fun under the heading of “better than work at Starbucks”.

My goal is to write fiction and supplement by teaching, creative writing hopefully, though I toy with the idea of being a yogina. My current instructor is keen to expand and take on other instructors. If we end up staying here in The Fort until Rob retires, that would be okay too.


D – Dad’s name: It was Donald. In his immediate family I don’t think I ever heard anyone refer to him as “Don” or “Donnie”. Mom called him “Don” as did most of his friends.


E – Easiest person to talk to:  Rob is the easiest person to talk to about anything. I can carry on conversations with most anyone, but the depth level will vary with my trust in a person, and I can seem to be very open even when I am not at all.


F – Favorite song:  I don’t have a favorite above all others. Every song I have ever heard is connected to single moments or whole eras of my life in such a way as to give them meaning. I can hear a song and remember who I was pining for or what movie I’d just seen and with whom or where in the world I was at that moment. I don’t think songs are like flavors of ice cream or running shoes. The variety should be infinite and they should evoke feeling that puts you back in the moment. Music is a true time machine.


G – Gummy Bears or Gummy Worms:  Gummy anything disgusts me. And I hate picking it off my teeth. Most unpleasant.


H – Hometown:  Dubuque and Des Moines are my hometowns because I grew-up in both places. Dubuque is where I literally grew up and Des Moines is where I actually became an adult.


I – Instruments:  I studied piano for four or five years as a child. I played the baritone and the bass clarinet in high school. I occasionally fight off the urge to buy a guitar because I long to learn to really play an instrument well enough to simply sit and pick out tunes I know and sing along. It’s easy to resist the impluse buy because I play string instruments left-handed despite being a rightie. I took violin lessons for a short time when I was in 4th grade. I was a natural but it conflicted with recess and playing ball, so it was short-lived. But I instinctively use my right hand for chords/note and strum/bow with the left. A leftie like Paul McCartney. Can’t explain that. Anyway, you don’t run across many guitars that are strung for lefties. You have to ask special.


J – Job: Have had plenty of them but never found the early ones to be anything other than legalized slavery. I don’t understand at all why people don’t rise up in revolt on a daily basis given the mindlessness of what they do. Teaching as I did I contributed to the sheople herd and it bothers me.


K – Kids:  I have some of those. The older girls were out on Father’s Day. Grown children are amazing. They carry on conversations. It’s different with Dee who still talks at me or asks me questions. 


L – Longest car ride ever:  The drive to Dubuque when Dad was dying. We went straight through and as we meandered up and down the rollercoaster that passes for a highway between Sioux City and Ames, I began to wonder if we weren’t caught in some Twilight Zone time loop because we never seemed to get closer to where we were going. It was a Friday night. High school football in every little place we stopped.


M – Mom’s name:  Ruth is her name. Like the book of Ruth. When I was little, I had a coloring book that told stories from the Old Testament. One was the tale of how Boaz had negotiated for the widow, Ruth, with her in-laws. He gave them one of his sandals. I think it was a show of good faith, but my parent’s friends thought it was hysterical that Ruth could be bought for the price of a shoe. They took to calling Dad “Boaz” after that. They were wrong. Ruth was not bought. She was a widow and therefore got to decide whether or not she would marry again. Her mother-in-law was the one who urged her to consider Boaz and remarriage because she was young and had a long life ahead and didn’t owe that to her husband’s memory or his mother.


N – Number of people you slept with: Ever? Why would anyone ask – or even more foolishly, answer – such a question. On a nightly basis, I sleep with Rob. I think that’s enough information.


P – Phobia[s]:  I am generally speaking a fearful person, but can’t think of anything that freaks me out to the point of simply not being able to do it. I could do anything if I had to. I really dislike the dentist but that’s because most hygenists are ham-handed.


Q – Quote:
“Delusions of grandeur make me feel a lot better about myself.”

Jane Wagner said this. She is best known as a collaborator of Lily Tomlin’s but I discovered she also wrote the CBS School Special, J.T. which is just about one of my favorite childhood tv memories. It’s about a boy in Harlem who finds a sickly cat and makes a home for it despite his family being too poor to afford a pet. I was about seven maybe when I first saw it.


R – Reason to smile: I am loved.


S – Song you sang last:
On my walk yesterday I skipped “E” and most of “G” but I sang along with Kenny Rogers’ Gambler and The Gourds “Gin and Juice” remake of the Snoop Dog song. Of course I sing Carpenters, even when it is sad beyond what should be allowed and Abba is a give regardless.


T – Time you wake up:  Between 6 and 7:15 depending. Now that the blinds are up and school is nearly out, I am hoping for 8AM. I really need to catch up on some sleep. Any sleep.


U – Unknown fact about me: Because there are plenty of those left now.


V – Vegetable you hate: I am not keen on artichokes.


W – Worst habit: I forget to turn lights off. I got into the habit of leaving lights on all the time shortly after Will died which was odd because it had been just Dee and I on our own for well over a year and I hadn’t any fears about the dark at all. I think it accelerated though after the Creepy Guy next door found out Will had died and began watching me all the time. Then there were the escaped fugitives that hide in the green spaces around where we lived that fall, triggering a manhunt complete with closed streets and SWAT teams moving neighborhood to neighborhood.

Now it is just a bad habit that drives Rob to distraction and I am working on it with varying degrees of success. I am getting better but mostly because Dee, who copies everything Rob does and says, has taken to reminding me as well.


X – X-rays you’ve had:
What an odd thing to want to know about a person. My wrist – which was broken. My ankle – which was not although I ripped all the ligaments. Chest x-rays for pneumonia. Upper and lower GI’s. My urinary tract (because they thought at one point I had only one kidney and a deformed uterus which turned out not to be the case at all). I have also had ultrasounds for gallbladder issues and pregnancy. I think, all in all, that my internal self has been well-charted.


Y – Yummy food: There is much yummy food to be had in the universe but most of it is off-limits. I find conversations about food and events where food is the focus or omnipresent to be profoundly distressing/depressing.


Z – Zodiac sign:
I am a Sagittarian with Sagittarius rising born in the year of the Water Rabbit. I think my moon is in Taurus or Virgo. In the end this makes me a contradiction and not everyone’s cup of joe.


The city of Brooksville in Florida recently updated the dress code for city workers to include, among other things, the wearing of underwear and deodorant and prohibiting obscene messages on tee’s and provocative undergarments that show.

I am all in favor of not having to see thongs leering at me when women bend over or squat down. I saw plenty of that as a high school teacher and more ass crack than should be considered reasonable in an educational setting. I am still caught off guard and a bit disgusted when I run across the mothers of my daughter’s peers with thongs on display and visible crack issues when they sit down. Obscenities on clothing are out of place in most workplaces too though I won’t rule it out  entirely. Deodorant is just a common courtesy in warm environments or if you are the kind of person who sweats a lot. But underwear?

Why is it necessary to wear underwear? Could it be the bra-less woman thing? Some people are put off, or simply befuddled to the point of being unable to concentrate, when confronted by a woman who isn’t wearing a bra. But I can’t see how shunning underwear impedes work or productivity overall if it’s not apparent to the naked (yeah, I am attempting a bad pun) eye.

A friend of my late husband’s claimed to be able to tell when a woman was sans panties. At the time, I was about half and half on my panty wearing, so I was curious to know how he could tell.

“It’s the panty lines,” he said. “Doesn’t matter what they do, they can’t really hide the dimples and bulges.”

Of course anymore, bulging and muffining are givens regardless because no one seems willing to wear the proper size of pants. And he was right. Even the thinnest, most toned women have the tell-tale creases of underwear when they are in dress pants or Lycra.

But I still don’t understand the “underwear” edit. Is it more sanitary perhaps? That extra fabric layer between the bum and the office chairs? Is it an absorbency thing? Catching the “juices” and holding them so they don’t leak into the air or through the pants or skirt. Is it a skirt thing? Are women in Florida going all Basic Instinct with beaver flashing?

I so seldom wear a bra that my daughter comments when I do,

“Why are you wearing a bra, Mom? Is something wrong?”

I think she equates them with band-aids.

And I don’t wear underwear. I just can’t stand the restrictiveness and have yet to find a brand that doesn’t dig or slide around. I guess the city council in Florida is okay with its employees digging underwear out of their cracks or constantly readjusting in some other way. 

I know you can test for drugs and aberrant personalities before hiring someone for a job, but how does one test for underwear? Are they going to use those new full body scanners they have in some airports now? Will they put cameras in the washroom stalls? Or will the boss just grab your ass every morning for  a quickie inspection?

It’s a good thing I don’t need employment outside my home right now. And that I live in Canada – where the people are free thinking enough to allow same sex marriage and just say no to the RIAA – rather than Florida. But I will keep my eyes open for  underwear scofflaws like myself. Just to see if I can see them.