While debating the advisability of blogging current events, musings and life in general, I ran across this meme. It’s just a meme. Nothing likely to reveal more of my inner workings that hundreds of other posts over nearly six years hasn’t already.
But what the hell.
Are you young at heart, or an old soul?
I have thought both about myself depending on where I was at in life over the years. I am of a mind
now that age is relative in terms of this concept known as “soul”. Elderly ones can be just as thick-witted as those newly hatched, depending on openness to experience and innate ability to glean and grow over a lifetime or countless ones.
I used to worry that I was a youngster and therefore doomed to many more tedious trips through the solid plane of existence but lately, I have begun to think that this might be my last trip.
What makes someone a best friend?
What makes someone a “soul mate” or a “kindred spirit” or one’s “evil twin”? Too many intangibles to define definitively for the masses. There is timing, mutual understanding of a myriad of points from value systems to humour. It’s very personal and entirely relative.
Rob once told me he’s had only two best friends and he married both of them, so I guess the best qualifier I can come up with for what makes a best friend would be the someone who knows you nearly as well as you know yourself and sticks around through thick and thin anyway.
What Christmas (or Hanukkah) present do you remember the most?
I remember lots of gifts. There were the ice skates I got when I was seven. Dad took me to the local skating rink that very night and then skated off, leaving me to figure the whole skating thing out for myself. Similar really to his approach with teaching me to ride a bike. He gave me a bike and left me to it.
I received a telescope when I was nine and spent many a cold winter evening in the back yard, trying to observe space from our frozen picnic bench.
My late husband gave me a birth stone ring our first Christmas as a couple. He referred to it as a “promise ring” which I thought was all kinds of high school stupid, but I wisely withheld that from him.
Interestingly though, the presents that stand out in my mind aren’t associated with Christmas. The breadmaker Rob got me recently is one of the most awesome gifts ever and the Om pendant he gave me for my birthday attracts all manner of comments and compliments, which add to my day whenever I receive one.
The most unexpected gift ever was the double heart necklace Rob gave me the first time we met in person. How many men hand out gold and diamond jewelry on a first date?
Tell me about a movie/song/tv show/play/book that has changed your life.
I shudder to think about living a life in such a shallow pond that pop culture would alter it in any significant way.
Name one physical feature that you like about yourself, and one you dislike
I have nicely shaped limbs but sadly a terribly square torso.
Would you like to reconnect with any friends you’ve lost contact with?
I have done this. It’s been very fulfilling. Of course, there are people who it is just as well that time, distance and life in general have swept to memory only.
What’s more important in a relationship: physical attraction or emotional connection?
Both are important for reasons that should be obvious.
Name a movie that you knew would be terrible just from reading the title.
Can’t say that has ever happened.
What holiday do you most look forward to?
Used to be Christmas but I would say that now I don’t become too excited about holidays.
How is the relationship between you and your parents.
I get along well enough with my parents. It’s just my mother now. She is eighty and quite enjoyable in her own momish way.
You’ve got the TV on, but you’re not really watching.
I am so seldom in front of a television that is actually transmitting live programming that I generally am quite absorbed in the same way someone who’d never seen television before might be.
What channel is the TV on?
It could be anything, but often it is TLC because the reality based programming is compelling in the way all horrific accidents or tragedies are. You know you shouldn’t look and yet you do.
Name a song that never fails to make you happy.
In The Middle by Jimmy Eats World
You know at least one person named Michael. Tell me about him.
I went to university with him. He made his fortune in educational software back in the 90’s and is now into real estate in the L.A. area. Owning, buying and selling. His husband is an entertainment lawyer and they have two little girls – twins. Just your average guy really.
Have you ever read the “missed connections” on Craigslist? Have you ever posted one, or wanted to?
If you could pick anywhere to live the rest of your life, where would it be?
Hmmm, really haven’t found that “dream” spot yet. I could live anywhere really as long as it was first world. The idea that there is ground “more better” is a “grass is greener” thing that I don’t subscribe to.
Can money buy happiness?
Money can buy security and comfort, and if this isn’t enough to provoke “happiness’ then nothing ever will be.
Do you drink? Smoke? Do drugs? Why, or why not?
I drink little and rarely. Mostly because I am long since over the need to alter my mood or hide behind the effects in order to feel comfortable in my own skin. And I will assume that the “drugs” in question are mainly pot and prescription mood altering and I shun both for the same reason I barely drink. I don’t feel the need to buffer myself.
I don’t smoke. I never have. Smoking will kill you. If not sooner than eventually. It’s smelly and, in my opinion, is a tell-tale sign of where a person falls on the class scale.
Is there anyone close to you that you know you can’t trust? You don’t have to give names.
If I can’t trust you, you aren’t close to me.
Where was your favorite place to go when you were a little kid?
When I was little, I loved going to my uncle’s farm. We were seldom allowed out of the fenced yard, but there was a tree swing in this amazingly old, gigantic maple tree and I never had trouble occupying myself and fueling my imaginary games when I was there. To me it was this exotic place completely unlike the staid and predictable suburbia I was growing up in.
Have you ever spent a night in the hospital?
When I was a child and again when I had a child. I also had to stay overnight with Dee when she was hospitalized once. It was nothing serious, but I remember there was a terrible storm that night and between the stress and the change in air pressure, I ended up with a migraine. A very kind nurse brought me an ice pack. Longest night ever which was compounded the next day when one of my vice-principals called me at home wanting to know if I would be there in the evening to supervise kids for a concert. I wisely didn’t tell him that he was an asshole and yes, my baby was fine – thanks for not bothering to ask. I just told him “no” and emailed my team leader with the instructions “take care of this for me or I will hurt someone”.
Do you enjoy being with only one or two friends, or with a large group of people?
I can be okay with both things but I find large groups emotionally exhausting.
Do you like the type of music your parents listen to? Do your parents like the type of music you listen to?
They like big band, and my mother enjoyed Broadway musicals. And yes, I like both. When I was little, I used to act out the musicals in our basement, singing along. I still sing along but I don’t (physically) act them out.
NO, my parents had no interest in my music … ever.
Have you ever been bullied? Have you ever bullied anyone else?
Yes and yes.
If you could only eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?
I have experienced periods of time where I actually did eat the same thing every day. I have no idea what I might be willing to eat forever without variation though.
If your partner wanted to wait until marriage before having sex, would you stay in that relationship?
As this was never a possibility given the time I grew up, it’s not something I ever contemplated. I think, however, if not having sex when you knew you were likely going to marry someone was a deal-breaker – you probably aren’t someone anyone should consider a good marriage bet.
I totally believe that the current mindset of “needing to discover if we are sexually compatible” is infantile. Sexuality is innate but the mechanics of sexual intimacy are learned. If you are attracted, emotionally connected and feel safe with someone – the rest is just a matter of practice.
Do you believe in a god?
Not exactly. I think that most religions are varying degrees of make-believe in terms of mystical dogma. However this doesn’t necessarily invalidate the idea that there is a larger force at work in the universe. In my opinion, we are not finite in terms of what we call a “soul” and that’s all I am sure enough about to commit to. Anything else is too narrow, punitive or fairy tale to put much stock in.
Of all the social networks in the world, why use twitter.
Why indeed? It’s a realm for the sentence challenged and those with tiny attention spans.
What’s your favorite hashtag to track?
I haven’t been on Twitter in ages. I set my profile to private and largely, I have forgotten about it.
Would you call yourself/your family “middle class?”
Most people think they are middle class and most of them are really upper middle or working poor. We are technically considered 1 percenter in terms of where we rank economically in the world. As Canadians, we are upper-middle.
Name a TV series you didn’t enjoy until after it ended.
I didn’t start watching Buffy until nearly the end. Thank goodness for dvds.
Have you ever bought a product from an infomercial?
No. When we still had tv, Dee was forever wanting this or that. Snuggies, Sham-wows and acne cleansing products.
If you could give up your car and never have to drive again, would you?
Yes. Driving is stressful and sharing the road with people I wouldn’t trust to drive me anywhere just makes it worse.
If you go back to one point in time to give advice to yourself, when would you go and what would you say?
At fifteen it would have been nice to know that everything was going to work out okay even if it was going to take much longer than it took everyone else.
What’s your “quirkiest” habit?
I talk to myself and my lips move when I do. Thankfully no one says anything except Rob, who occasionally asks me what I am talking to myself about.
What is “normal?” Are you normal?
Although normal is probably relative, I would say that when you run across the extreme examples of either end of the spectrum, you definitely know it.
Someone close to you is dying. You have the choice to let this person live for 10 more years, but if you do, you cause the death of 10 strangers. You don’t have to see them die. Do you take the offer?
Having been in this situation and knowing others who have also, I don’t consider this type of rhetorical exercise a “fun” game. But, I would have no difficulty making the deal. I am as selfish as anyone else in this regard.
What is one thing you could never forgive?
There is no one thing. I have banished people to the recesses for a multitude of transgressions. I would say that the one thing all those people have in common is the fact that I never considered them essential in any way to my life. So basically, the one way to avoid my never forgiving you would be to establish yourself as important. Otherwise, I could kick you to the curb without much thought and without any regret.
Would you rather be in a relationship after the honeymoon period ends, or be single?
A question better suited for someone who has never been in a really good long-term relationship. Honeymoon periods come and go and come again if you stay with someone long enough. While there are a few things about being single that I miss, I wouldn’t trade marriage for single because ultimately, single equals alone on more levels than most people care to admit. It’s doable and for some the best option, but I doubt anyone who is single into their advanced years consciously chose it. It just happened. Like many things do.
But I didn’t answer the question, did I?
I would never pick being single over a relationship that was right for me whether this meant that sometimes, it wasn’t all “honeymoon” or not.
Is it possible for guys and girls to be just friends?
Only as long as neither one harbours romantic feelings for the other.
Where do you and your friends go to hang out?
I am sort of past the age of “hanging out”. If/when I see friends, we have to make arrangements in advance. It’s an aging thing.
Write the first sentence of your obituary.
In case anyone has missed her, Ann Bibby died recently.
What is the best TV theme song ever?
I am still fond of, and know the lyrics to, the theme from Gilligan’s Island.
When you were young, what would you dream you would be when you grew up?
When you’re alone in your own home, do you walk around naked?
Oh yes. Always have. My late husband was a bit weirded out by this though he adjusted somewhat eventually. Thankfully, Rob walks around naked too, and now that we finally have curtains again, it’s not much of an issue.
What gets you out of bed in the morning?
The fact that I have to get up to make lunches and send child and husband out into the world.
Do you want to have more friends than you have right now?
I might be interesting to have more real life friends to hang out with but as it is, I am probably at the perfect number for me.
What part of the past year sticks out in your mind?
The yoga studio closing. It’s been nearly a year and I keenly miss it.
You win a scratch-off lottery game that gives you $2000 a week (after taxes) for the rest of your life. Do you keep your job?
Not currently having a job outside my home, this is not applicable to me. But, had this happened when I was still teaching, I doubt I would have quit right away. So many people who win the lottery don’t stop to take into account so many things that they take for granted that when they hastily chuck employment, they soon discover that their “wealth” isn’t all that wealthy.
Could you be in a long-distance relationship? If you’re in one, what makes yours work?
Rob and I did the ldr thing for the first six months, but we began planning to be together as soon as we knew we were “it” for each other. I don’t think ldr’s can last long if one person doesn’t make a move to be with the other. It’s harder work to maintain communication lines, get to know more about each other and learn how to be together in a way that suits both when there is physical distance. The distance makes each visit seem more like a holiday than real life and relationships cannot be built on a foundation of “exceptions” to the rule of everyday living.
What made the six months work was constant communication. We could almost literally contact each other at any point of the day or night. Hundreds of emails. Hours of phone time. And Rob made the effort to visit on a regular basis. Our success was not an accident.
What’s the best route to your heart?
Have you ever met someone through the internet, then met them in real life?
I met Rob virtually.
What is your favorite sport?
When I was a child, it was baseball, but I am fairly disinterested in sports now. Dee plays soccer and I have learned a great deal about the game. Enough to appreciate it, but it’s doubtful that I would ever sit down to spectate anything that didn’t involve cheering on one of my children.
What has been troubling you lately?
Did you enjoy your high school prom? If you haven’t gotten there yet, do you look forward to it? If you didn’t go, why not? I
I was never asked to prom. Living in the dark ages of needing to be asked by a boy in order to attend, prom is something I simply missed out on. I wasn’t pretty enough to attract admirers and I was too shy to lure anyone on my own.
It’s a good thing that girls today aren’t bound by the need for a date in order to go to prom. I think it might have been fun to go with my friends and just hang out. Prom, however, was one of a hundred ways that we girls were judged and granted social standing back in my youth. Thank goodness this, at least, has changed.
What do you use more often: your intuition or logical reasoning?
Logic informs my intuition.
Do you know what makes you happy?
Tell me about the last book you read.
I read Hilary Mantel’s sequel to Wolf Hall, which is titled Bring Up The Bodies. It’s the term gaolers in the Tower of London used when asking for prisoners scheduled for execution to be brought for their date with death.
What is the nicest compliment you’ve ever been given?
My husband compliments me all the time, and as a result, I am pretty spoiled, so no one remark sticks out in my mind. But, I am always humbled when someone approaches me after a yoga class to thank me or tell me how they really needed the sequence I led that day. Teaching yoga is so much more emotionally satisfying than teaching public school ever was.
Who was your first crush?
I think I have talked about this before. His name was Steve. We went to kindergarten together. He had a bowl haircut and chocolate-brown eyes. We played tag together everyday.
Do you believe that there is life on other planets?
Depends on how you define life, but life like us? I doubt it.
Predict what your life will look like a year from now.
The house will be closer to finished and we will have just returned from our timeshare in the mountains.
Often, people will ask how your last relationship ended. I want to know how it began.
It began on the Internet because our spouses had died. Probably not the most auspicious beginning ever but it has worked out for us.
Where is your favorite place to go out and eat?
I don’t really like eating out. I have to think too hard about what is/isn’t safe for me to eat unless we are at a place that serves breakfast all day. A breakfast all day place is my favorite place to go. Unfortunately, Humpty’s is about the only place like that here in Alberta. They serve fairly mediocre food.
What is something you want to change about your current situation?
I suppose there are details I could nit-pick but that’s too much work. My life is good overall.
Early bird or night owl?
I have been both over my life. Currently, I am neither.
Are there any childhood possessions you still hold on to?
I have my old rag doll. Somewhere. I gave Dee the t-shirt I got at Girl Scout camp the summer I was eight. She also has my Malibu Skipper.
Give me an unpopular opinion you have.
Unpopular according to who? Popular opinion? It’s dangerous to follow the sheep, in my opinion. I am known for my grieving heresy. I think Kubler-Ross is a load of psuedo-science based on anecdote and peddled by folks who haven’t worked through enough of their own grief issues to be trusted giving advice to others.
What was the last song that was stuck in your head?
Not Over You is what I think it is called. Sung by some guy named, I think, Gavin. But I could be totally wrong.
Where do you live? Be as general or specific as you want.
Alberta, Canada. Outside of Edmonton.
Do you believe in giving kids medals and trophies for participation?
No, it’s one of the dumber things we started doing back in the early 90’s and there is plenty of research that debunks it now. However, it’s ingrained in education/parenting culture despite the fact that it’s not a good idea.
What was the longest car ride you’ve ever taken?
We drove from home to my parents in Iowa when my father was dying. It took about 26 hours.
Have you ever taken part in a protest?
I marched with the Occupy Edmonton group last fall.
Would you ever use an online dating service?
A service that matches you up like Match.com? Yes. But I haven’t ever been part of a service that uses matchmakers.
What is your ethnic heritage?
Swedish and Irish.
Describe a person that inspires you.
Sincere. Dedicated. Not a follower.
If you earn minimum wage doing what you love, would you?
When I was blogging for Care2 that is precisely what I was doing but after a while, it’s not enough.
Do you believe in luck?
I believe in timing and the importance of location, which is another way of saying that I think luck is a real thing.
Describe the last time you were very angry at someone.
Very angry? I get frustrated and I vent but very angry I can’t recall.
Do you want to live until you’re 100?
No. How lonely that would be.
Do people change? If so, how do you keep a relationship together when both of you start to change?
I don’t think people change at their core personality level, but people do age and with age comes – hopefully – growth. What people are really saying when they say that someone has changed is that they’ve moved on to another level of life. It can be forward or backward or stagnant. They also likely confuse their own growth and moving on with change in others too.
Can you maintain a relationship as people grow? Sure, but both people have to want to and it’s no less work than simply maintaining status quo.
Have you ever risked a friendship by telling someone you liked them?
I didn’t have to because Rob took the risk.
Would you rather be alone doing something you enjoy, or doing something you don’t like with your best friends?
I am a parent. I participate in things I don’t enjoy often simply because it makes a child happy. It’s not that big of a deal.
Do you practice what you preach?
I try not to preach anything I wouldn’t practice.
If you take precautions to stay safe, do you ultimately act more recklessly?
Huh? I am not a reckless person.
What do you value more in a significant other: Attractiveness or intelligence?
It doesn’t make how intelligent a person is if there is no attraction but attraction can be based on intelligence.
Are you hard-headed?
Have you ever laughed uncontrollably when it was socially inappropriate?
When have you felt most alive?
More alive than alive? I don’t really get that. I felt most alive when I was … I think it is kind of sad if feeling alive is dependent on single experiences.
Would you prefer to live? A city? The suburbs? The countryside? The mountains?
As mentioned earlier, I haven’t really settled the “where in the world is Carmen SanDiego” issue yet.
Do you often skip breakfast?
How do you know what true love is?
True love as opposed to fake love, which isn’t love but more likely lusty infatuation? Eventually you become experienced enough to figure out the difference. Well, most of us do.
Would you want to know the exact date and time you were going to die?
No it would influence me negatively.
Where is “home” for you?
It’s where Rob is.
What song best describes your life right now?
I don’t have a current soundtrack.
Do you want to be perfect?
I thought I was. I’m not?
What have you never tried, but would really like to someday? What’s holding you back?
Owning my own business but that will have to wait on a few details.
How do you express your creativity?
With words and flour.
Describe your neighborhood.
Name something you only liked because it was popular.
Give me the story of your life in six words.
A self-published original work in progress