Origami Yoda via Wikipedia
Yoda was right. You do or you do not. It’s not a shady issue. Succeed and be rewarded. Fail and suffer the fall-out.
It reminds me a bit of that old saying “no good deed goes unpunished”, which stems perhaps from the idea that good deeds often depend on the favored to achieve success and it’s never a good idea to gamble too much on anything that’s so far outside your own sphere of influence.
DNOS is chuckling like Mrs. Santa tonight because N1 is heading back to Iowa this weekend. It’s been a costly gamble. And not just monetarily. But it’s time to admit defeat and send the troops home to regroup.
I’ve lost yet another day in damage control and I am mightily weary. I have a life and commitments of my own that need my attention and resources. Yet I find that I can’t work up any real emotion over it aside from a heavy sigh. I am not disappointed because I am beyond that where family is concerned. They are who they are. I am not surprised when events end up the same time and again.
But I am not inclined to be sorry either. True. It is do or do not, but you can’t “do” anything until you are willing to “try” something. In some cases, anything.
As I was walk/running at the track today, it occurred to me why I have never won the lottery. If I had that kind of obscene money, I would use it to help people avoid learning the lessons they were born to study and master. I couldn’t help but use my good fortune to give others the opportunity to realize success of their own. Being happy,and really without any serious needs or even wants, for the first time in my life these last few years, I just want everyone to know that same feeling.
Destiny, however, has seen fit to put me in a position that makes it impossible for me to do anything but spot people toward their goals thus forcing them to do the rest of the work themselves. And it’s for the best. You don’t learn anything when life just hands you things, or when people in your life hand you things without requiring anything from you by way of effort. A little help is okay but I think there is also some quaint old saying about the universe helping those more who are willing to also assist their progress with personal sacrifice and hard work. I might be paraphrasing a bit, but I am sure you understand.
Rob, and my mother, both think that I should pat myself on the back for at least doing something because there are those who do nothing and then sit back and nod sagely when precisely nothing else happens. CB, I think, has earned a pat or two himself even with his implosion taken into account. He has less than I do in terms of resources and yet he offered all he had and then some and gained little from it.
But still I think Yoda was on to something. There is no try when try is all you have to offer. If you aren’t willing or don’t believe that something meaningful can result, it’s better not to bother.
anniegirl1138 
I apologize if I came across as being harsh. My attempt at writing may have become a bit facetious. Of course N1’s future is not a laughing matter. You understand that N1’s behavior has become quite frustrating, and we can only hope he gets his shit together. Have a good Thanksgiving, or whatever the Canooks do up there. Joe
DNOS only laughs at me and my inability to not look for some spark of good or hope in some branches of our family tree. She is more realist than I am. Happy Thanksgiving to you. Ours is long over.
Technically all you did was shuffle cards. To be successful one has to get dirt on their hands. A ticket to Canada might just be what is needed. Get in the mud and get dirty. A little more hands on. Create an environment where YOU can succeed with this mission. From down here, your life doesn’t really seem any more important or busy than anyone elses.
Technically, I did the same thing I would have done teaching, which is change the parameters except I did it from a distance. One thing I learned teaching is that all one can do is set up the circumstances and supply data – the student still has to do all the work. I did consider bringing him here (and if I’d had my way when he was in 5th grade, he would be here and the issue would be moot), but he couldn’t go to school, get a job or a driver’s license (because he went and lost the one he had last summer but that’s another issues) if he came here. It’s not like moving him to DM. Not being a citizen or legal resident puts big limits on him.
I am not surprised by any of this or even disappointed. Even knowing what’s likely to happen next isn’t provoking much more than déja vu. In fact, I am sure you can predict the next step down the stairs for him as well as I or DNOS can.
Your last sentence was a bit harsh given that I don’t claim to be overly busy and certainly not important though I will own my Pollyanna tendencies.