Monthly Archives: August 2008

Universal Lessons


As many of you know, I live in a tiny hamlet outside a tiny town. Life could not be much more small town for me. Back in Iowa everything I needed was within 15 minutes or less of my home. Job. Daycare. Shopping. Food. Doctor.

My house was fully equipped – unless furniture isn’t optional which I personally believe it is. Maybe not the newest gadgets but everything was there.

Late in the spring we lost our dishwasher. I think I mentioned it. The new one sat in the box for a month and now sits – not yet hooked up – under the counter. I do dishes by hand on average of 4 times a day. I will be a tiny bit sorry when we go back to automated dish and utensil cleansing because I have come to enjoy doing dishes by hand. It’s a calming and reflective activity that has helped to put me back in touch with the reality of food. The preparation and the clean up are powerful reminders of what and how we eat. Something we can easily lose track of in a world of less prep is more quality time which couldn’t be more false in its assumption.

There is no air conditioning in our home either. Not really the best use of money in a place where summer lasts as long as it takes Sears to go from its summer to fall catalogue (approximately 4 weeks). We cope with strategically placed fans, closed blinds and drapes, wear less and lighter clothing and drink lots of water.

This last weekend we lost the refrigerator. It was the second time in 4 months that the unit simply went warm. Rather than shell out more repair money and end up purchasing a new fridge this fall anyway, we will simply buy a new one. Not as easy as it is to do back in Iowa. There one can have a new appliance the same day it is purchased almost. Here it could take a few days or more*.

So the food is in the freezer in the basement and packed into coolers in the kitchen. The old and the questionable containers have been purged – again. There is really nothing like a fridge on the fritz to inspire a closer look at expiration dates.

Rob was a bit glum about this latest appliance setback and I, for once, am not all that concerned. Though I did remark,

“I wonder what the universe is trying to prepare us for?”

He had wondered the same thing.

Unlike Woody Allen, I don’t really believe in a totally random and completely uninterested universe. My common sense simply refuses to buy into it. I feel that we are continually handed growth and learning opportunities. Some very obvious ones and others not so much.

Like the dishwashing, the fridge is teaching me something about myself. That I can cope with minimal refrigeration options? Or that the unexpected crisis is not really?

As I reminded my husband, a new appliance cannot hurt us at re-sale but give us an edge over other sellers who are trying to leave their old crappy stuff behind for a brand spanky new home and stuff.

His reply was that our fridge wasn’t that old. He wasn’t in the mood to look for the bright side yet.

We have a tiny fridge out front in the tent trailer and a freezer in the basement and a garden full of fresh produce. The universe has taken care to provide and another lesson is learned.

*Fortunately we were able to pick one up Monday evening.

The Brave New World Belongs to Google


Skynet is the fictional computer that gains self-awareness and consciousness and results in the horrific slaughter and subjugation of man in the Terminator movies. The idea that computers can be taught to think as we do is the basis for AI or artificial intelligence. It’s a holy grail thing despite its implications.

Recently I read a short story by George Dyson that poses the question – what if the great search engine Google was a potential Skynet? The story is here. And it is a slogging read at times because it is heavy on tech and backstory but it is worth skimming for the parts that are easy for a lay person to understand. 

The last couple of paragraphs especially make it worth the while.

Interesting theory though about dreaming before thinking.

And if you still aren’t sure that Google (or Apple for that matter) are steadily liberating more data from us than our own governments. Read this.

Come What May


The summer before Will died, I spent nearly every day with him at the nursing home. I was taking master’s courses and laying the groundwork for my master’s thesis.

These were my days if I wasn’t taking a class that week.

  • Up by 6AM for both me and BabyD.
  • Breakfast and dressed and heading to daycare by 6:45AM
  • Out to the nursing home in time to feed Will breakfast and home by 9AM
  • Homework, housework, yardwork – whichever was in most need.
  • Back to the nursing home to feed Will lunch.
  • Pick up BabyD.
  • Park or walk
  • Feed BabyD and then over to gym for quick workout.
  • Home for bath and bed time.
  • Homework or housework.
And then because I wasn’t sleeping much I would watch dvd’s. Buffy much of the time. Season six. The year she was brought back from the dead by Willow who was convinced she was in a hell dimension though she was really in heaven. Consequently she was hating on life and feeling very disconnected and alone. It was a very morbid and sad season. I could relate.
But I also watched just about every film that Ewan McGregor ever made that summer too. I liked his eyes. And his smile. But mostly his eyes. It was then I discovered Moulin Rouge.
I ended up buying a copy of my own and eventually the soundtrack.
After Will died the duet that the two main characters sing to each other, Come What May, became one of my playlist standards. To me it seemed an acceptance of the finite nature of relationships brought on by the limitations of being merely mortal and at the same time an acknowledgment of what love gives to us.
Today would have been a ninth wedding anniversary. But I don’t feel like being sad.
Remembering doesn’t have to be sad.