Not continuously, but at least once a day for 101 days, a Denver journalist and his wife found the time and the stamina to engage in intimacy – and journal about it – for posterity. The resulting book, called Just Do It, by Doug and Annie Brown was an idea that sprang from a conference called “Sex and Pop Culture” that Doug had attended. While there he learned of the “100 Day Club” which is a club no one wants to be a member of because it means that, for whatever reason, you and your partner have been without sex for 100 days or more.
Hmmm. Been there done that.When Doug Brown was describing this “100 Day Club” to his wife, she wondered it they could do they reverse – 101 days of sex.
I haven’t done that. Come close (note the pun) but life does get in the way. (“What about her period?” was my husband’s first question.) But I understand the basic premise of the Brown’s idea. If lack of sex/intimacy erodes a relationship, what would a stepped up sexual calendar achieve?
Well, apparently it produces the opposite. The Browns report that they have been brought closer and are more physical than they were before – touching and hugging are frequent occurrences throughout their days now as a result which makes sense.
During the month long sexual hiatus that the couple took following the 101 days of nooky, Doug took the journals they had both kept during their “experiment” and formed the outline that became their book which chronicles their escapades in various hotel rooms (as Annie had to travel with Doug on his assignments), sex on a mountain top, an exercise ball and after watching porn together for the first time.
According to a 2004 study by the National Research Opinion Center, the average couple has sex 66 times a year with newlyweds at a slightly higher rate of 84 times a year. (Just out of idle curiosity I calculate that Rob and I beat that newlywed record easily with a whooping 101 times in our first year which will end in a couple of weeks – the first year, not the sex frequency of teenagers).
The Brown’s first step toward hyper-intimacy was to banish their TV from the bedroom which is a good move regardless. TV is a mind and time suck that no one needs. They also arranged to be together daily – no separations. Also a good idea. But judging from the exercise ball and the mountain top, they strove to be creative, and not just in a “let’s buy porn and sex toys” kind of way.
Though I am too old and wise for the Cosmo “you were created to be a sex kitten so work it girl” motto, I do confess to reading the articles on new techniques when I am standing in line at the grocery or waiting at the library for yoga class. One never knows if one knows everything there is to know about men and their maintenance.
Some people may read this book, and even this blog post, as just another sign of the coming apocalypse – sex being one of the more prominent sign posts for the Horsemen to follow – but relationships suffer more from a lack of physical intimacy and the unwillingness to address it openly. Any stimulus for discussion with your partner should be seen as a good and healthy thing.
anniegirl1138 
84 times a year…66 times a year…these seem like unreal numbers to me. After only 5-1/2 years of marriage, my wife and I are at a rate of 12 times a year. It sucks so bad–everything else is pretty much terrific, but this lack of sex makes me miserable–it affects my psyche, my confidence, my self-worth. She knows I’m unhappy with our sex life but is unwilling to do anything about it, or even discuss it. Women don’t realize how much getting laid *really* means to a guy…and how much more frequent, intimate sex means.
Daisy, I prefer the stuff that gives specific details of erogenous zones and they do that more often than you would think. The other stuff is a tad under-whelming and it makes me wonder just how poor a job is being done in sex ed these days.
i like the concept – probably not as necessary for newlyweds, but a few years in, it would certainly highlight the need to attend to physical intimacy.
gotta ask – when you read those “10 best sex tips” or “12 things to make him wild in the bedroom”, are you underwhelmed? things like “men enjoy oral sex” and “men like women to be aggressive”… gimme a break. but like you, i still read them. damn it.
84 times in one year for newlyweds does not bode well. and if I were married and only getting it 66 times a year I’d be looking elsewhere.
that said, it’s quality that counts not quantity but when I’ve been in long term sexual relationships the average would be three times a week. don’t think I’ll even mention the frequency as a newlywed…..