Babydoll was the nickname my late husband gave me. Eventually it just became “babe” and I always knew when he was upset with me because that was the only time he called me “Ann”. Rob has a repertoire of endearments of which the most often used is “Sweets”. He has never used lovey nicknames exclusively, so I am just as often “Ann” as I am anything else though it took me a while to shake the feeling that something was wrong when he used my given name instead of something cute and sticky.

I got to thinking about all this again when I read a news blurb about Barack Obama causing a minor stink by addressing a female reporter with “Sweetie”.

Peggy Agar of WXYZ-TV shouted out a question to the presidential heir apparent asking him what is “going to do to help out American auto-workers”. This was during an appearance Obama was making at a Chrysler plant in Detroit. Obama’s reponse?

“Hold on one second, sweetie,” Obama replied. “We’ll do a press (availability), thanks.”

He never did answer the question.

However, Obama did apologize in a voice mail message later that Agar’s station played for its audience. Obama admitted in the apology that he has a bad habit of calling people “sweetie” and that:

“I mean no disrespect, so I am duly chastened on that front.”

Calling “people” sweetie? Last time I checked it was mainly females and overly personified housepets that this diminutive was used on. Or am I to believe that the Senator refers to men as “sweeties” as well? Perhaps he says, “Dude”? or “Buddy”? More likely he does not apply sweet nothings to the men in his life whether he is closely acquainted with them or not. We can only hope he does not need a nickname system in order to keep the people in his life properly identified as our current commander in chief does.

There is something very unprofessional about downward addressing in the “work place” which the campaign trail certainly is if you are the probable Democratic nominee.

I had a boss once who addressed all his female employees with variations on “sweetie” and “dear”. He was not trying to be endearing either. The guy was a pig whose contempt for women was front and center in his interactions with them. I was only 16, and though I chafed at being called “dear” when he was angry with me or “sweetie” when he was attempting to access his inner nice guy, I wasn’t schooled enough in the ways of the world or workplace to call him on it.

Later when I was teaching in my first high school, I was the target of many an unsolicited term of endearment from old enough to be my father colleagues. It was then that the touching started as well. Pats. Brush bys. Hugs. There was one man who went on to become a vice-principal who insisted on full frontal hugging. Married men all too. What is up with that? But, digression aside, addressing a woman you don’t have a personal relationship with (I am talking very, very personal) by anything other than her name or title in a professional setting is a definite “don’t”.

My husband, the Canadian who finds Americans and their politics entertaining when they are not down right frightening, laughed when I told him the Obama “sweetie” story and his “little usage problem”.

“What? You mean it wouldn’t be okay for him to address the female foreign head of a government by saying ‘So nice to meet you, Sweetie’?”

“Not only is it not okay,” I replied. “I have almost no trouble envisioning such an example.”

More laughter. But it’s not funny.

I am my Dad’s little girl. I was Will’s Babydoll. I am Rob’s Sweets. Anyone else had better be very careful before they venture away from my given name.