Monthly Archives: June 2009

A Weekend Update


The Weekend began with the last day of school for Dee. I love the Canadian school calendar. They begin after Labor Day and finish on the last Friday of June. I love having June to myself.

And it was also Rob and my 2nd wedding anniversary. A classmate of Dee’s invited her over for an end of the year/beginning of summer sleep-over and pool party the next day. How often does an almost 24hr childless stint coincide with one’s anniversary?

We moved the sitter from Friday to Saturday night and grilled instead of heading into the city. Yummy fresh food without the worry of tummy trouble, followed by wine and the first two chapters of a cheesy mini-series from the mid-70’s and plenty of snuggly good times.

Saturday was sleeping in, toast and tea at the table and conversation that was not interrupted with multiple requests for assistance.

We picked up Dee in the mid-afternoon and sailed off for the city to help Mick with her moving (the Overlord sat like a freakish Krishna on the trampoline in the front yard the whole while we were there, pretending not to eavesdrop by wearing his earbuds – apparently has taken to communicating with Mick by text, even if they are in the same room). Afterward we hit the Customer Appreciation Sale at Sears (they are appreciating anyone who is still spending their money) and picked up drapes to go with the blinds in our bedroom. Near darkness is on the horizon this week.

Picked up the sitter on the way home and some nutrition-less no-no’s at McD’s for Dee before depositing them at home, and we were off to the city again. Dinner at the High Level Diner. A favorite place.  And movie at the Garneau down the block with a walk around the university campus in the interim.

The Garneau is an old theatre with cushy seats that rock back into the knees of those behind you. The movie was a Brit import. Colin Firth. Always wonderful despite the now comical injection of widowhood into the plot line. We don’t even try to avoid it by reading reviews or summaries anymore. It does no good. We are cursed like that.

And that’s about it aside from my managing to annoy people with my lack of respect for the dead.

How was your weekend?

Special Marriage Meme for Our Anniversary


I found this months ago on Archie’s site and thought it appropriate for the celebration of Rob and my second wedding anniversary which is today. Archie found it originally over at Litlove’s delightful blog and then saw it again on Lily’s entertaining blog.

What are your middle names?

Mine is “Marie” the same as my mother’s. Rob’s middle name is “Shaun”. I don’t know the significance of it.

How long have you been together?

We met on the YWBB, specifically on a post he put up on the general section of the board. That was in December of 2006. Rob saved that post. Our first long conversation was in a chat room. We ended up being the last two people there despite the fact that there was another woman stalking Rob at the time and pulling him out to side chats. Eventually he ditched her to talk with me although on the surface neither of us were looking at our getting to know each other as anything more than virtual friends. 

How long did you know each other before you began dating?

We were e-mail pals for about  five or six weeks before we were more than that. We were in contact just about every day. Support at first but that changed rather quickly and became more of the getting to know you stuff that happens when people first meet. 

Who asked whom out?

He sent me an e-mail the day after the first anniversary of Will’s death. It was long, rambling, very sweet. I was stunned. I liked him, but he’d been so adamant about internet romances being bad things (there was a lot of that going around on the widda board at the time) that I put the idea way on the back burner. My BFF was always pushing me to try and sound him out about the possibility of he and I, but I rebuffed her. I respected Rob too much and wasn’t going to endanger our friendship by being forward. Our first “date” was via the phone. I was reluctant to go to the phone. I don’t do “good phone”, but he was as easy to talk to as he was to correspond with.

How old are you?

I was born in Iowa in 1963. He was born in Ontario in 1961. I have never been younger than a man I was with. It’s kinda fun. He grumps a bit because he was younger (a few months) than Shelley and he hates having lost the age “advantage”.

Whose siblings do you see the most?

Mine, I guess, but we live pretty far away from family. Rob’s siblings are younger (some a lot younger) and they aren’t a close-knit group. I have met only his sisters and not his younger brother. Funnily, I have met all of Shelley’s siblings, nieces and nephews and many of her cousins, aunts and uncles.

My sister, DNOS, and her husband and son are the ones we see the most, aside from Shelley’s family.  My younger siblings are not really part of our lives, but Rob has met them both. He’s also met much of my extended family and I have met a few of his mom’s extended family.

Which situation is hardest on you as a couple?

I had to think about this a long time because I don’t think we have any issues that are “hard”. There have been issues that have come up concerning the children and other family members, but nothing that we couldn’t deal with. Recently we have been tossing around the “where will we be buried” thing again. I have a plot back in Des Moines where Will is but haven’t much desire to be buried there myself. Rob’s late wife is still, mostly, in a container in our basement. I think it would be easier if we all just faded into nothingness like Yoda did, but that’s just me.

Did you go to the same school?

No.

Are you from the same home town?

No. Not even the same country.

Who is smarter?

That depends on who you are asking and what the topic is, but generally, I would say he is a tad bit smarter than I am in most areas and a whole lot smarter in his fields of expertise.

Who is the most sensitive?

To others? He is. I am about as tactful as a face plant on the pavement. In terms of personal slight? That would be me. My feelings get hurt very easily because I read things into people’s actions and words that perhaps they don’t realize they are telegraphing along with the surface content. It has made life hard for me and sometimes still, I feel the need to back away from humanity to ease the scraped raw feeling I get from being too close.

Where do you eat out most as a couple?

My food allergies make eating out … challenging. There is a place I love in Edmonton called The High Level Diner, but mainly, it’s Humpty’s, Boston Pizza and Subway.

Where is the furthest you have traveled together as a couple?

By road? To Iowa and then southern Illinois for our honeymoon. But long trips are a fact of life here in the Great White North. No place we have been has been less than a five hour drive. We’ve been to Jasper to get married, Regina and Penticton to visit Rob’s mom, Fairmont Hot Springs and Revelstoke for vacations. We’ve gone farther north (yes, there is a farther north) to Grande Prairie for funerals. Rob and I also went to Arkansas on our first road trip, and we met in person for the first time in Idaho Falls.

Who has the craziest exes?

We don’t have those. My husband is buried in Iowa and his wife’s remains are in a container in our basement.  So what we have is … unusual … by the standards of many.

Who has the worst temper?

We have the same temper and that is the problem. We are both the stewing sort that give off radioactive heat, but we really don’t disagree that often and we are both working on the whole “talking” as opposed to “clamming up” thing and I must say we have made remarkable progress on that front. 

Who does the most cooking?

He did in the beginning because I had never really cooked an entire meal family style before in my life. I do the lion’s share now but he is good with breakfast on vacations and weekends.

Who is the most stubborn?

Again, kind of a “two peas” situation. I am the more flexible though, imo.

Who hogs the bed most?

Me. I am a snuggler. He moves away (because I apparently give off quite a bit of heat) and I follow until he is clinging to the side of the bed. He takes all the covers though.

Who does the laundry?

Me mostly but he will often take it upon himself to do the wash. He folds too – much better than I do. I can’t complain at all when it comes to the housewifey things. Rob has the attitude that he is as responsible as I am for cleaning and whatnot.

Who’s better with the computer?

Not even a contest, he is.

Who drives when you are together?

Rob always drives even on long trips (because I drive too slow – the speed limit). I prefer to be driven really. It would be nice to live in a place where one is able to walk most everywhere but that’s not the reality right now.


So there you have it. If anyone is inclined, please join in the “Marriage Meme”. 


Dead Icons


The “power of three” is not to be trifled with and is not subject to earthly explanation. In the celebrity realm the more famous or iconic you are, the more danger you are in of succumbing to the it.

Michael Jackson could attest to this were he not dead. He is the third in the Grim Reaper’s trio of famous recalls this week, Ed McMahon and Farah Fawcett having gone on ahead.

According to my husband, talk radio was ablaze with the news of Jackson’s death on his drive home from work late this afternoon.

“Shepard Smith sounded like he was about to burst into tears,” he told me in a bemused tone.

The Facebook and Twitter feeds were running about fifty-fifty between genuine grief and good riddance. I understand those who feel Jackson’s loss as deeply as though he were a friend or extended family member. He grew up with some of us. We remember he and his brothers. And he become a pop-icon to a generation or two as a grown man during the 80’s, leading him to self-christen himself the “King of Pop” and lead them along with his fantasy view of himself and the world.

I remember the cartoon.

I can still listen to Jackson 5 stuff without cringing – almost. But I can’t listen to Thriller. Although I think the LP is still at my mom’s, and I danced along with everyone else in college, Jackson was a pedophile and his music – for me – is as tainted as he was. Being dead doesn’t change that for me.

I read a tweet that summed it up nicely:

RT @Sarcomical: media/individuals seem to be mourning loss of what Jackson represented for them in 80’s. not the human he recently was.

Poor Farrah and Ed – people who probably deserve more memorializing than they will get now that the behemoth that was Michael Jackson has eclipsed them with his passing. I don’t think talent or a long past celebrity is reason enough to overlook the kind of man he eventually revealed himself to be.

Just saying.