love and relationships

Happy Anniversary, Baby.


Although I was recently reminded that I have been widowed for less than two years and only married again for about five minutes, I want to take a moment to recognize my wonderful husband, Rob, and be grateful for our life together and bask in the glow of our love and happiness for all the world (a small world indeed as there are but a few loyal readers here) to see.

While it’s true that this is just the third month of our damn long time together, and just ten months since we met, all journeys have to begin somewhere. And, every new beginning, to borrow a line from the group Semisonic, comes from some other beginnings end.

Happy Anniversary, my lover. Je t’aime.

Dinner and a Movie Again


Rob took the day off. We had immigration stuff to attend to, again, in the city, and it took so long we were pushing it to get Katy to school on time. Apart from a quick project meeting after lunch, Rob and I had the whole afternoon to ourselves. Alone. In our home. Did I mention the “alone” part? That hasn’t happened even once in the three months we’ve been living together. Three months. Our anniversary is coming up next week. We’ve been married for three months. We’ve known each other for almost a year. It seems longer. Funny how there are people who come into your life and it seems as though they have been there all along just waiting for the chance to finish your thoughts with identical ones of their own. Kindred. There is no rationally explaining such people. Maybe just subconscious memories of another time? Another life? Sometimes I get the feeling that Rob and I have been separated for a long while. Lifetimes.

Dinner was Boston Pizza with a very tired five year old straight from ballet. There is romance in that if you care to look. I don’t need to look far. Just across the table. The movie is a leftover from last Saturday night’s trip to the video store. Strange that we still call them that even though I haven’t seen a VHS cassette for rental anywhere in ages. The cranky five year old, who is crankier yet, is still stirring but she won’t last. And then? It is the old sofa, blankets, snuggling and Bandits with Bruce and Billy Bob and hopefully our first movie without widowed or grieving characters.

Dating your husband is the best way to spend a Friday night. Even if you are dating in for the evening.

Lunch by the River


I met Rob for lunch yesterday down by the river that flows past town. The last time we were there was to watch the fireworks display late in the evening on Canada Day. The weather was nice. Mostly sunny with that nip of fall in the air when the wind would blow. I had dropped Katy off at school earlier, and she expressed only mild disappointment at being left out. Now that she is back in school, even if only for the half day, Rob and I have a bit of free time to play with again, and it’s so nice to be just he and I.

Funny how the day to day routines and demands can so quickly erode time that was once set aside for the simple pleasures. Breakfast on the weekends. Sitting around the dining room table in our robes munching toast and sipping tea until it could officially be brunch. Curled up on the couch after bedtime stories and rituals have settled down the little one, so we can watch The Daily Show together. Running errands as a family that could have been more easily accomplished alone. Catching up on movies via the bookmobile coupled up on the sofa or bed. Even just walking to the bookmobile together on Wednesday evenings, arms around each other is such a joy. Such simple things, and so easily brushed aside at times by reno work and house work and aqua classes and writing groups. And I am not complaining. We make plenty of time to be “just us”, but the real world can only be kept at bay through willing blindness on yourself for just so long. Still it’s hard not to miss some of the early day routines of first being together full-time. Lunch with my husband however is still a must. Even it isn’t in the park. Even if it is just a phone call on days that work demands its due. It’s important to not go the whole day without touching or talking or saying “I love you.”

Yesterday as we snuggled up on the picnic table bench like teenagers playing afternoon hooky, I was struck again by how really blessed I am and how wonderful he is and how much I love him and being with him. I still worry a bit about the “other shoe” and the “wolf at the door”. It’s hard to have been where I have been and seen the things I have seen and not carry a few of
fear ‘s scars, but in the moment, I have no worries. The sun shines. The leaves whisper like small children practicing indoor voices. My love warms my hands between his own. We are in love, and I am happier, I think, than I have ever been.