Movies

The Exception


We watched a romcom over the weekend based on a dating/relationship book that sprung from a cutesy (but very true) line on an episode of Sex and The City, which I never saw. Based on the rather roundabout route the idea for this movie took from conception to the big screen, the likelihood of it being anything more than a time suck that steals hours from one’s life was rather small, and the premise itself ensured that it would be more sadly true than funny. But I found a few things worth pondering hidden between the painful reminders of what it is like to be single/unmarried when you would rather not be.

1) That the idea of soulmates should not be taught to our children – our daughters especially. One of the story lines followed a young woman determinedly pursuing a married man based on the faulty  idea that one can simply find the person you were meant to be with (who means for this to be is never made clear or even discussed) via chance and regardless of whether this person is already in a relationship, the universe will bend to your greater destiny.

This is, of course, bullshit. Sure, the characters (and probably you too) can recite anecdotal stories of two people meeting while married/committed to others, running off and living happily ever after for decades together. But as a male character points out at one point in the movie – they are exceptions in a world where nearly everyone is always the rule.

2) Which brings me to the “rules”. We allow our teens and young adults to teach each other how to date/mate, and most of what they have to say to each other is wrong and reinforces nonsense and fantasy.

3) Living together is not the path to marriage for most couples and there are very few couples who forego marriage completely who go on to live out their days together (and please don’t remind me of the handful of rather public figures who buck this trend – they are exceptions and most people are rules. In your real life, how many common-law couples of decades do you know? I know three and two are same-sex and don’t have the marriage option – they would be married if they did.)

4) The reason most people are single is that they believe the chase has something to do with love. It doesn’t. If it’s love, there is no chase. Or they confuse what the movie calls “the spark” with real feelings.

5) If someone is “into you”, they are always available, kind, concerned and interested. They are never too busy. They call back, show up and generally can’t see or hear from you enough. That’s actually what being the “exception” is. It’s too bad that it’s so difficult for so many to understand that being this kind of “exception” is better.

This is what I have learned:

  • Know what you want.
  • Ask for it.
  • Walk away when you don’t get it.
  • Trust that in doing so you are opening yourself for someone who gets you as you are.

You can be the “exception” if you remember that the “rules” as played by most people are not interested in promoting long-lasting, healthy relationships.

10 Films a Stolen Meme


Stealing meme’s is all I seem capable of which means this Monday ritual is probably played out, but let’s give it another week, shall we?

Rules: Don’t take too long to think about it. Fifteen films you’ve seen that will always stick with you. First fifteen you can recall. Tag 15 friends, including me because I’m interested in seeing what films my friends choose…or don’t and just comment. I like comments.

1) Gone With The Wind – because it cemented for me the idea that the novel is the best source for good story although I love the first half of this film. I even went to see it on an honest to goodness big screen when it was released for one of it’s anniversaries. It’s a must see on a real movie screen.

2) Moonstruck – I don’t know why I would have so strongly identified with the main character, Lorretta, when I first saw it. I was still in college and didn’t know anything about love, but her loneliness was something I understood. My favorite lines are from that movie:

Love don’t make things perfect. Love ruins everything.

Do ya love him, Lorretta? No, Ma. But I like him. Good, ‘cuz when ya love ’em, they’ll drive ya crazy ‘cuz they know they can.

Someday you’ll drop dead and I’ll come to your funeral in a red dress.

3) The Empire Strikes Back – not the best one of the six but I loved Yoda and movies I can remember lines from must be important.

This one long have I watched. Never his mind on where he was. What he was doing.

4) Much Ado About Nothing – my favorite Shakespeare film adaptation. I used to show it to my students and they loved it too. Emma Thompson is fabulous.

I cannot be a man through wishing, so I will dying a woman weeping.

Or

Thus goes everyone to the world but I and I am sunburnt. I can sit in a corner and cry ‘hey ho’ for a husband.

I can get you one Lady.

Can you get me one of your Father’s getting? Your father made excellent husbands if only a maid could come by one.

5) LadyHawke – I remember taking a break from studying for finals my junior year to catch a matinee of this movie. I went alone. It was an old theatre in downtown Iowa City. Smelled like vaudeville with seats that sunk to the floor. This was another film I used when teaching folktales.

It’s like escaping mother’s womb. God, what a memory.

6) You’ve Got Mail – Better than that insipid Sleepless in Seattle but probably not the best of the romcom genre. Still I love Tom Hanks in his everyman romantic lead suit and the supporting cast is awesome.

The answer to all life’s problems is in The Godfather.

7) The Godfather I and II – I read the Puzo novel when I was in 7th grade. Sr. Marilyn was appalled to discover that yes, my parents not only knew but approved of the idea that I could read whatever struck my fancy. She had no idea that my parents weren’t moved to actually find out what any of the books I was reading were about. They were just happy to have at least one literate child and content to feed my hobby in whatever way they could – short of actually reading themselves. I first saw this on television. I believe both my folks watched too. They were part of a boxed set that Will and I bought when we got our first dvd player. They were his favorite movies.

8) Fight Club – I never saw it when it came out. I never read the book it was based on until I decided that doing so might help me better understand Mick, who is a Chuck Palahniuk reader. I am still torn about it, but I think it holds kernels of wisdom.

9) Cinderella – name a film version and I have probably seen it. My favorites are the Drew Barrymore version, Ever After, which tries to explain where the fairy tale originated and Disney’s musical version with Brandy and Whitney Houston. Yeah, corny and I don’t care. Cinderella has always spoken more to the core of me than any other of the princess tales and I am familiar with my versions of the different folk tales from my English teaching days. I used to tell my students that folk/fairy tales existed because they represented the commonality of human beings in terms of what we need and dream of, and I still believe that.

10) A Christmas Carol – I can watch just about any version of it, but my favorite is the George C. Scott television movie. Did you know that Dicken’s working title for this was “The Sledgehammer”? There is nothing about it I don’t love.

Okay, so this could easily be one of my last Monday meme’s, so I’d appreciate a comment from my normally reticent lurkers.

Another Sunday at the Movies


With Dee safely pawned off at her bff’s house Saturday for an overnight (I will miss that about summer. We’ve had a Dee-free weekend just about every other and at the price of hosting bff on the opposite weekends which is still a definite win-win in terms of child occupying), Rob and I spent the day pondering the “movie” side of dinner and a movie date night. 

Rob wants to see the new Tarantino flick but it doesn’t open until next weekend and so I googled the offerings and did a bit of review reading and came up fairly empty. It’s not that bad reviews put me off. I don’t pay much attention to what a critic thinks. I read reviews to get a feel for the story-line and to find links to trailers. The bottom line is always this:

Is a story interesting enough to justify the time spent elbowing with the masses?

Most of the time, the answer is “no” because unless a movie is a must see – like the recent Star Trek for example – we aren’t in any hurry. The majority of films are out on dvd within four to six months and our public library does a wonderful job of keeping current on titles. Trekking to the theatre to queue up with teenagers and young adults who have little concept of personal space or tmi conversations, which they carry on at deafening levels that make me glad when I run across groups of young people who text each other even when shoulder to shoulder, just isn’t an experience I need and I know Rob has little patience with humanity anyway, so why? 

Movies can be savored from the comfyness of the sofa, snuggled with husband, pillows and under blankets. The living room is a lot closer to the true amenities of life and what it lacks in screen size is more than made up for by a clean bathroom and a kitchen with a wider – healthier – variety of snack options.

After ruling out the theatre and taking in dinner at the local Chinese option, Rob and I decided to splurge and rent dvd’s. Our selection for last evening was the Nick Cage flick, Knowing. The trailer blaring from a tv screen in the store lured us into it. Trailers are deceptive but nothing else was really screaming out “pick me” and it had an intriguing premise.

A time capsule buried fifty years earlier is unearthed and reveals a sheet of paper covered in numbers that turns out to be the date, location and death totals for nearly every major disaster between 1959 and 2009. And there are just three dates left. Cue the spooky music.

Unfortunately many things work against such a promising start.

  • Nick Cage is a one facial expression actor.
  • The film can’t decide if it wants to be a horror, action or alien encounter movie.
  • It veers wildly back and forth between actual science and Rapture inspired religious mumbo-jumbo.
  • And did I mention that Nick Cage really sucks the air out of every scene?

Of course widowhood reared its head. Cage’s character is a widower who drinks himself to sleep every night while staring morosely at the unopened birthday gift his wife died before having the chance to give him the year before, and there is cgi galore. The end is part Michael Bay/part Spielberg AI. And there are two adorable children. Something for everyone and therein lay the problem. No focus. Story drifted and then would scream off in an almost opposite direction.

I hate it when good story ideas are treated so badly. Some people should not be allowed to make movies.