BlogHer ’08 in San Francisco


I am a registered blogger at BlogHer, a large almost entirely women-only site that kind of collects the various female bloggers in cyber-space and houses them under a single “roof”. I don’t blog there – yet – still thinking about it, but I really would like to attend their annual conference which this summer is in San Francisco. Last year’s was in Chicago, I think, but Rob and I had only been married just shy of a month, Katy and I were still adjusting from the big move north, and there was that sticky thing about not being able to travel freely back and forth across the border without Rob as I wasn’t a permanent resident yet.

This July I will have my PR card. In fact I should have my final approval within the next week or so as the FBI very kindly put an expedite on my fingerprint/background check (and as I suspected I have never been arrested) which my caseworker at CIC will have this Monday. After that it is (I assume) stamping and mailing me the final approval. With that I can apply for the cards for Katy and I. Once again, freedom of movement. Not that I was restricted all that much. Canada is an overly large place. However the mere idea that I couldn’t get to the States and back on my own felt confining for some reason. This development means, of course, that I could go to Blogher ’08 in SF this July. It would come pretty close on the tails of our return from Iowa (family business), but it’s doable. It’s also an expense. Rob figures about $2000 dollars between airfare, hotel, and conference fees. My tax refund will more than cover it, but I hate to be frivolous with that money. Is this conference something that could be beneficial for me as a writer?

Pro and Con?

Okay, pro is that I was recently accepted as a writer for an online activist site called Moms Speak Up. It’s not a compensated position but it’s also not self-publishing. It is a chance to write about things that matter to me. Issues that affect our lives and futures. A few of the scheduled sessions dovetail with the type of thing I would be doing like political opinion writing and writing with a global perspective. There is also an interesting sounding session on the gender and race issues generated from the current presidential campaign. In addition there will be sessions on building traffic and syndication and promotion. And advertising. Can’t forget that. And yes, I realize I can’t get to that many sessions, but as you can see there is a lot to learn. I would get my money’s worth out of the registration.

Continuing with the pro, there are opportunities to meet other bloggers. I think they call this “networking”. I didn’t do that kind of thing as a teacher because I wasn’t interested in moving into administration. I don’t consider admin having much to do with real teaching. I had some great bosses, don’t misinterpret, but managing isn’t educating though a really good admin knows how to set up a productive atmosphere and get out of his/her teachers way. Networking among bloggers is important. You can learn things from the good ones. I have learned so much from just reading good blogs. Daisyfae and Nurse Myra for instance have taught me the importance of replying to commenters. Julie has shown me that it is possible to mix serious commentary with personal life observations and anecdotes. Meeting bloggers in person and talking about blogs and writing seriously could be even more informative.

Cons? Oh yeah, gotta do that list too.

Being away from Rob for another three days. We will have already spent time apart when I head to Iowa to help my mother out. Rob is going to spend part of that trip up here working – at the plant and on the house. There are reno jobs that are going to create a certain amount of dust, among others things, that an asthmatic like me shouldn’t be exposed to (this could technically be a pro too but time away from the husband is not counted as a positive in my world-view).

There is also the money aspect. It’s not a bank breaker but it is enough money to give pause. Okay yes, it could be considered an investment but an investment in what? Me? To what end?

Hmmm. I have to give this more thought. It would be fun and the bottom line is that learning should be fun. I have never been to San Francisco although in going there it does put the onus on me to try and find time to visit my younger brother now that he has moved down there from Tahoe (that is almost a con).

Has anyone been to BlogHer or is going? Your perspective would be interesting to know.

A Monday MEME


I am not much of a team tag player which is probably why I never get tagged but I found an interesting MEME on FuelMyBlog that doesn’t require any effort beyond the ability to put links in a post.

Link 1 must be about family

Link 2 must be about friends

Link 3 must be about yourself

Link 4 must be about something you love

Link 5 can be anything you choose

Post your five links and then tag five other people.

1) Family Night

2) Making New Friends

3) Me

4) Rob

5) Jasper

Normally I would tag Steven Spielberg but he’s got a premiere coming up at Cannes and probably just doesn’t have time, and Angelina and I are on the outs ’cause she doesn’t have much by way of a sense of humor these days (preggie with twins will do that to you). Since Oprah can’t admit she reads me (because it would cause a run on this site, overwhelm WordPress and make other bloggers jealous), and I really shouldn’t be name dropping anyway, I will call upon some of my trusted companions in blogging: Rob, Pammy, Girl, Uncle Keith, and Daisyfae. However, anyone can play (or not) as the moment moves them. If you do, don’t forget to post a link here for all to enjoy.

Send Your Cards and Letters


With Mother’s Day approaching I was struck by the impulse to send Will’s mother a grandmother’s card from Katy and some pictures of her. She had asked for pictures in the letter she’d sent me at Christmas time. The one where she all but said she still hated me though the Christian in her could only forgive me. The length of time between her request and my impulse was not influenced by the less than pious tone of her only letter – only form of contact really – with me since the infamous phone call of the fall of 2006. The one where she’d found God and wanted us to exchange forgiveness. That was 9 months after Will died and the only contact she’d made herself. She had preferred to conduct her business with me through emissaries but I had put an end to that at Will’s service and informed all her lapdogs that I wasn’t talking to her “people” anymore as she knew my number and presumably my name as well as being able to dial a phone herself. Have I ever mentioned that she and I don’t quite mesh? Everything is personal with her even when it has nothing to do with her at all. She sees slights and outrages between every line written or uttered and no one has suffered the pangs of neglect and loneliness as she has. She could be my youngest sister’s long lost twin. She is the incarnation of every victim mama I hand-held through their child’s middle school experience when I was a teacher. I have limited patience for such things.

Lately though I have come to the conclusion that it isn’t much of an effort to send her photos every few months. She has been sending cards fairly regularly since Christmas and though Katy hasn’t shown the slightest interest when I have given them to her and explained who they were from (she remembers quite well who her paternal grandmother is and is her mother’s daughter when it comes to shrugging things off). there may come a time when she might want to correspond. Visits at this point are not under active consideration. (Truthfully, Rob can’t even prevail upon me to be much more civil and if he can’t – no one can.)

The card I chose was as generic as they come. Not a word about fond memories or love or affection. Just happy mother’s day grandma. Very matter of fact. Though interestingly warmer than the tour guide chain letter I typed up to describe the pictures events and tell a bit about Katy. Rob noted that there was no greeting or salutation even. I printed a second copy to send to Will’s aunt. No card there though.

“Not signing them even?”

“Do I have to?”

I find my former in-laws to be almost as much a burden as they were during Will’s illness when they could never find time or inclination to help out on the rare occasions I bothered to ask (because the answer was always – “Sorry but we’re busy”). I wish I could neglect them completely but as indifferent as I am to the idea of them, I do think they are interested, a bit anyway, in their deceased brother’s only son’s daughter. A bit.

My mother-in-law is living in a nursing home now. I found this out from my best friend who works for a care service that has been providing in-home care for MIL until recently. Apparently MIL can no longer live on her own due to her health and has no family or friends to help. This can only mean she has finally used up everyone she knows. People only mean as much to her as she can get out of them. I know that Will would be disappointed that I can’t get past the past and help her out, so I will do this photo/update thing to assuage that – not guilt because I truly don’t care about the woman at all – feeling he would be upset with me.

Everything will go into the mail in the morning. It might be there by the weekend. Sending mail from here to there is an imprecise thing.