….breasts and strategically lighted, professionally groomed pudendum (or “pussy” if you prefer because apparently everyone doesn’t speak Latin).

I have never seen the film, 2005 was not a stellar year for me and movie-going, but I think Dame Judi Dench won an Oscar? Or perhaps just a nomination. In any event she was wonderful to watch and the scenes without her don’t sparkle nearly as much.

But I am a sucker for eccentric old lady movies, perhaps due to the fact that I fully intend to be one when the appropriate age presents itself.

In keeping with our near perfect tradition of choosing films where a character is widowed or experiences death in some other way, Mrs. Henderson opens with a funeral. Mrs. Henderson has been recently widowed.

And I thought – fuck me. Why am I plagued with blue-ray representatives of Queen Victoria at her blackest?

But you know what, that isn’t really true. I have yet to met an imaginary widow who doesn’t strive to break free of Lizzie’s misused rule book.

Mrs. Henderson did not disappoint.

Laura Henderson: [at Mrs. Henderson’s husband’s funeral] I’m bored with widowhood.*
Lady Conway: My dear, you’ve just scratched the surface. 
Laura Henderson: I have to smile at everybody. I’ve never had to smile at everybody. In India, there were always people to look down on. 
Lady Conway: People are merely being sympathetic. After all, you have lost your husband. 
Laura Henderson: Well I didn’t mislay him! It was most inconsiderate of Robert to die. What on earth am I supposed to do now? 

Lady Conway: It’s really not so bad. Widows are allowed hobbies. 
Laura Henderson: Hobbies? 
Lady Conway: Yes. Embroidery, things like that. 
Laura Henderson: Are you mad? 
Lady Conway: I’ve graduated to weaving. Would you care to see my tapestries? 
Laura Henderson: I’d rather drink ink. 
Lady Conway: Committees are good of course. I serve on quite a few charities. Once your husband dies, it’s quite permissible to help the poor. And now, there’s no one to stop you buying things. Also, of course, there’s a great deal of time for lovers. 
Laura Henderson: Margot, I’m nearly 70! 
Lady Conway: That’s true, but you’re also very rich. The one cancels out the other. 

Okay, widowhood is probably a lot different when you are not looking at decades of it but I have to admit I was long over widowhood itself within a very short span of time. Like Mrs. Henderson I wanted to do and grow and move on. Unlike her I didn’t have the money to buy a theater, so I blogged instead. There is something to be said for creative outlets.

Rob didn’t like the movie. He gave it a “meh”.

It is not quite a chick flick but veers dangerously.

Oh and there is nudity. Strategically lit and neatly trimmed.**