Comments on: Me – if you are interested in knowing

By: Ann

Ann — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 16:16:34 +0000

Was reading Dear Prudence today and this caught my eye, making me think about you.

http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2012/01/sick_spouse_is_it_ok_to_take_a_lover_if_your_husband_can_t_meet_your_needs_.html

By: Ann

Ann — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 15:36:35 +0000

I am sorry for what you are going through. I remember it well. And you are right, we are expected to be some Hollywood movie character – selfless, devoted and madly in love – and it’s not that way for many of us, and we have no safe outlets for such feelings.

People do survive caregiving. You will too. Do find something just for yourself. Some outlet/somewhere. I joined a gym that had childcare so I could walk and swim. I also started walking on my lunch break. And I had my angry outlet – rap music. Combined it with jumping on my mini-trampoline after my dd was in bed every night. Point being – just do something for you.

And don’t worry about how you feel. All feelings are necessary and valid and normal. Good luck to you.

By: lily

lily — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 12:20:42 +0000

I came upon your blog today as I was searching for information on living with terminally ill spouse.

I am at work, so I didn’t get to read as much as I would like, but I wanted to say that I greatly appreciate your honesty in discussing the illness and its true impact on the family. My husband was diagnosed with FTD 2 years ago. My emotions go from numb (the most common) to feeling sorry for myself (also the most common:) to panic and fear at all the decisions facing me. I have 3 teens at home and it is so fucking hard to be a “single parent” to them – but I’m not really single.

I have tried joining on line support groups – but so often the people are so selfless and uncomplaining…. that I just can’t relate. they always talk about how much they love their spouse, still, and honestly – I can’t go there with them…and I hate myself for not loving him more.

But…..I want to thank you for expressing so well what I, and I’m sure some others, are afraid or ashamed to admit.

By: Jennifer Ward-Pelar

Jennifer Ward-Pelar — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 21:48:45 +0000

@ PVZ, your comment was so cool, how one thing can lead to another! Reading it was like watching a television show unwind! ha!

By: pvz

pvz — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 20:33:44 +0000

Hi there. I came by in a round-about way. Read an article about Carrie Brownstein (Slater-Kinney, Portlandia, Wild Flag) written by Elizabeth Weil, and the author tag included information about her up-coming book No Cheating, No Dying, which led me to do some searching for that, which led me to a post by you in 50-something… which led me to your blog which led me to this page. Not that any of this matters, but I thought it only fair to let you know how these things can happen. :> I’ll have a look around and see what there is to see here. Best to you and yours, pvz