Comments on: The One Where I Kept My Mouth Shut

By: Lora

Lora — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 14:33:55 +0000

absolutely, 100% correct.

By: thegnukid

thegnukid — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 23:04:26 +0000

i always struggle with what to say, usually cracking wise (and often not too well at that, even). i think the “you’re normal” is definitely going to be added to the repertoire, thank you. well done piece.

By: anniegirl1138

anniegirl1138 — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 16:35:13 +0000

Sometimes silence isn’t bad. Listening is nearly always well-received. But a heart-felt “I’m sorry” is never going to get you in trouble.

By: anniegirl1138

anniegirl1138 — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 16:32:32 +0000

Yeah, and it's amazing to me that people two and three years out still don't get that. They say "but you asked for opinions!" or that it is a kindness to do so. Giving advice is really all about the ego of the person who is spouting off and nothing to do with the person being spouted at. The mean part of me enjoys the indignation of the busy bodies when they are slammed by the asker and others. I want to ask them "what did you think would happen? that you'd be hailed as some kind of goddess come to enlighten her people?" The truth isn't that people should be doused with cold water or that cold hard facts are best. Reality checking is not what people want. They want to be validated and they want comfort. Most people get more than enough boot-strap advice and criticism in real time to go looking for it online from strangers.

By: Sharon

Sharon — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 15:20:46 +0000

This is so true. Things will be different, but that’s okay, too.