Comments on: #friday flash

By: anniegirl1138

anniegirl1138 — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 16:53:18 +0000

Thank you. The ending sort of wrote itself as I hadn’t intended it to go there. That green eyed girl knew what she wanted.

By: Anasazi Stories

Anasazi Stories — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 21:23:02 +0000

This is like a dive into cold water. It’s an uncomfortable place. The Manson alusion makes it even more eerie, especially paired with the perfect recitation of the witnesses. Then boom, we climb out of the water. Sign goes up. And the ones who we may have thought were the manipulated, well maybe they are the manipulators, no? Intriguing.

Welcome to the #FridayFlash party. I’m very glad to have you.

By: Dan Powell

Dan Powell — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 07:27:25 +0000

The interplay of your characters makes this piece. Great use of dialogue. Jenner’s inexperience in the opening is well drawn. Loved that she didn’t know who Manson was. Great first #fridayflash

By: Stephen book

Stephen book — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 16:49:57 +0000

“…the girl’s story varied not one sentence from her three roommates except for the lone tear which would seep from her left eye to punctuate a particularly nasty revelation…”

That was an excellent image! Thank you for sharing.

By: battypip

battypip — Sun, 05 Jul 2009 12:36:39 +0000

This one grabbed me and wouldn’t let go. I love the unusual point(s) of view you’ve used to tell the story – a couple of cops trying to understand weirdness. It gave me the choice of whether to agree with them or mentally try to explain it to them… if you see what I mean.

I like the last sentence – it’s one final twist of the knife that’s been probing the reader’s guts all the way through.